It's pretty quiet here in Vandyland. Graduation was on the 14th, and since then the campus feels deserted. I'm sadder than I thought I would be without the students around. I feel like my purpose for being in Nashville left with them all. They were, after all, the focus of most of my days and the majority of my non-YAV community.
The silence that engulfs the campus though calls me to reflect upon my time with the PSF community. I came in September unsure of what I was doing; not knowing how to build community, and lacking in confidence that I could handle the task at hand. As the year evolved, I discovered that I loved the planning, the execution, and the behind the scenes work that so much of the Vanderbilt PSF work demanded. Being a part of the planning that made "life-changing moments" is pretty incredible. I discovered a passion in authentic conversation (especially with a tea or chai in hand) and the joy of fostering relationships of meaning. I was reminded of my love for proclaiming the Word, my fears of entering hospitals, and how sometimes the most important thing is just to be present with someone as they move through trials. I had my share of failures and anxieties. But I made incredible memories of triumph, and joy, and plenty of new relationships. I helped make two mission trips realities, learned to ask hard questions, and discovered that there is something, indescribably profound in the moments one feels God's presence.
My life has certainly been enriched with the work I did with PSF Nashville. I also miss the busy-ness that was my life; although the time for rest is nice. But there is something to be said for the pace of life on a college/university campus. I still haven't found anywhere else that compares.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
traveling home
On Mother's Day, I flew out of Nashville and arrived in Erie. It was a exciting couple of days in Erie. I surprised both Grandmothers (one much more than the other!) and attended two very important meetings to help start off my time at Columbia Seminary.
The first meeting was a gathering of my home church's Session, for me to discuss why I've decided to go to seminary and pursue ordination. It was a wonderful meeting. . . it felt so good to be home and around people who know more than this year of my story. It was incredibly affirming to share with them all, and to hear their thoughts and feelings when I was done talking.
On Monday I went to the Lake Erie Presbytery office to attend the Committee on Preparation for Ministry meeting. This CPM meeting was the next hoop to jump through in hopes that they would endorse me and then present me to the Presbytery meeting in June. This meeting was also very affirming and very positive. I really enjoyed my time with them all; even if I did do most of the talking!
I left Erie sad on Tuesday morning. It doesn't get easier to leave home, especially not when I've had such a great time with the people who know me. And the idea of being about four more hours away from Erie (Columbia is just outside of Atlanta) for three years makes me sad too. But I also know that I can't deny the notion of being called to Columbia, to seminary, and to ordination. So, I'll venture further away to pursue what I need to. And maybe someday, I'll move closer to Erie and the people who know so much of my story. Until then, I'll keep building community in new places and venturing forth.
The first meeting was a gathering of my home church's Session, for me to discuss why I've decided to go to seminary and pursue ordination. It was a wonderful meeting. . . it felt so good to be home and around people who know more than this year of my story. It was incredibly affirming to share with them all, and to hear their thoughts and feelings when I was done talking.
On Monday I went to the Lake Erie Presbytery office to attend the Committee on Preparation for Ministry meeting. This CPM meeting was the next hoop to jump through in hopes that they would endorse me and then present me to the Presbytery meeting in June. This meeting was also very affirming and very positive. I really enjoyed my time with them all; even if I did do most of the talking!
I left Erie sad on Tuesday morning. It doesn't get easier to leave home, especially not when I've had such a great time with the people who know me. And the idea of being about four more hours away from Erie (Columbia is just outside of Atlanta) for three years makes me sad too. But I also know that I can't deny the notion of being called to Columbia, to seminary, and to ordination. So, I'll venture further away to pursue what I need to. And maybe someday, I'll move closer to Erie and the people who know so much of my story. Until then, I'll keep building community in new places and venturing forth.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
flood
When I asked my parents to ship my work boots down to Music City in March, I never suspected that I would end up using them more in Nashville than in Guatemala. (I actually didn't even take them with me to Guatemala).
The last three days (and again tomorrow) I've headed out into suburbia Nashville to help with flood recovery. It's a mess. Lives have been lost, tangible memories are soggy or destroyed, and my heart aches for all of it.
I've helped a co-worker save pictures from his flooded basement, torn up a hardwood floor at a stranger's house. Today I choked back tears as I helped an 85 year old woman salvage cards and pictures that her husband hadn't even signed before he died three years ago. I ripped out soggy drywall and tossed it into a heaping pile at another house.
Someone asked me today if this is what I ever expected to do during my YAV year. I laughed at the time, and answered that no, this was not on my list of expectations. Now I say no with a lump in my throat as I allow my thoughts and feelings to settle. It certainly has been a year full of the unexpected. And this flood and consequential devastation, as well as recovery work in my own city, was (and continues to be)on the top of my "totally unexpected" list.
I wish I could better articulate what I've been seeing and feeling. I don't know if it is a limited vocabulary or an overwhelming sense of emotion on my part. All I know for certain is that this city that I love is suffering.
The last three days (and again tomorrow) I've headed out into suburbia Nashville to help with flood recovery. It's a mess. Lives have been lost, tangible memories are soggy or destroyed, and my heart aches for all of it.
I've helped a co-worker save pictures from his flooded basement, torn up a hardwood floor at a stranger's house. Today I choked back tears as I helped an 85 year old woman salvage cards and pictures that her husband hadn't even signed before he died three years ago. I ripped out soggy drywall and tossed it into a heaping pile at another house.
Someone asked me today if this is what I ever expected to do during my YAV year. I laughed at the time, and answered that no, this was not on my list of expectations. Now I say no with a lump in my throat as I allow my thoughts and feelings to settle. It certainly has been a year full of the unexpected. And this flood and consequential devastation, as well as recovery work in my own city, was (and continues to be)on the top of my "totally unexpected" list.
I wish I could better articulate what I've been seeing and feeling. I don't know if it is a limited vocabulary or an overwhelming sense of emotion on my part. All I know for certain is that this city that I love is suffering.
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