lists and loves

I have a list I've been carrying around with me lately. It's not a to do list, so to say, instead I'm calling it my "one bite at a time" list. The nine items on the list are things I need to have done by a specific date: books to read, devotionals to write, scholarship essays, and a sermon.

That said sermon is now crossed off, as I preached it last night. I had prepared the liturgy (another crossed off list item) and was ready to serve God with my words. . . whatever words came out. And I loved it. Really, truly, loved it. I preached on a text I read in my God, Moses, and Torah class two springs ago that really spoke to me. The text was Exodus 18.13-26, where Moses gets his ideas realigned on how to serve his community.

I loved getting into the text, reading it with new eyes. I loved how the creative energies flowed as I thought about the text and the lessons I saw there. I loved getting up and sharing that inspired knowledge, speaking loudly and boldly; praying the entire time that one word, one sentence would allow the Spirit to move in someone in a new way.

And I loved that so many from my larger Nashville community were there. It was great to have the PSF regulars there, don't get me wrong. But it really meant a lot to have my housemates and YAV community members, friends from Downtown Pres and 2nd Pres there too. Earlier yesterday morning, I shared with someone that it was going to be hard to preach without my family there. She asked what difference my family would make, and I told her that I've always known that even if I totally flopped and failed, my parents, sisters, and grandparents would have told me that I did a fabulous job. They would have smiled, hugged, and supported me through it all. Even without my family there though, people who love me were there and they smiled, hugged, and supported me. Yes, I still missed my family terribly; but that hole they would have filled wasn't entirely empty due to the wonderful people I have in my life here. I'm so blessed.

Before I put together this "one bite at a time" list, I had forgotten how much I enjoy reading, writing, and proclaiming how God works in and through my life. It was exciting to be affirmed by the gathered community last night, but there was also a deep sense of affirmation in me. The kind of affirmation that can only come, I've found, when I stumble upon a portion of God's plan for my life.