It's been quite the weekend here in Nashville. It was suppose to be a fun, no schedule weekend. And while it was to begin with, it took a tragic turn. I'll start at the beginning:
Friday: Diana, Leslie, and I got up early (6:30is) to wander around at a yard sale. Unfortunately, it was not what we expected, but we still had fun looking around. We ventured then to Starbucks. It was my third Starbucks stop in two days. . . I felt like Kayla! After Starbucks, we had our Vocational Discernment as YAVs. We discussed one of my favorite books, Let Your Life Speak. We had great discussion and I left feeling challenged to reexamine my spiritual life and my vocational goals. The rest of Friday was spent preparing to celebrate Lisa's birthday. We had the other YAVs over for pizza, cake, drinks, and a movie night. It was fun to be together. I was sad going to bed though, because we watched Flashdance, which is set in Pittsburgh. Watching the incline go up Mt. Washington, I felt pangs of homesickness.
Saturday: I woke up feeling rested for the first time since moving to Nashville. I started and finished "Five People you Meet in Heaven," which was a great way to take sometime for myself. I had no plans for my day, and I was really excited to have it that way. But with one phone call, that all changed. The birthday girl, Lisa, had a bike accident, and called me. I ended up calling her back, trying to calm her down, and found where she was. She was a few blocks away, with several bumps, bruises, and open wounds. The ambulance showed up, and took her to the hospital. My roommates and I followed, where we learned that Lisa had broken her jaw in three places. She ended up having surgery which was to fix her broken teeth and wire shut her jaw. Spending the afternoon in the ER was draining. . . I had to leave to get some fresh air, as all the traumas coming in got to me. I still can't believe how well I generally behaved there though.
Sunday: I woke today, dreading having to do anything. Yesterday had certainly taken its toll. But it was the first Sunday I was to worship at Downtown Pres. so I got up and headed over early. There was a Titans game starting at noon, so I left to make sure I wouldn't be late. Luckily, there wasn't much traffic going into the city, so I got there too early. I parked, tried to get into the church, but all the doors were locked. It ended up that while venturing around the church, I walked through urine left by the homeless men that frequent the church's alley. Disgusted by that, I continued to the streetfront. I still couldn't get in and my summer skirt was flapping in the breeze. Getting frustrated, I tried to walk away, only to be stopped by David, a mentally ill homeless man. David started talking about all sorts of things: the weather, professional women, overdrawing his bank account, what a horrible city Nashville is, and how a young woman like me should eat more Mexican food. I was so frustrated, so angry that church doors were locked etc. I was trying to listen to David, but I allowed lots of other things to cloud my mind. Eventually, David made some comment about how tense I was. And I was. He totally called me out on that. Finally, the doors opened, I got into the church, met a few people (Lee, a sweet older man; Jeff a younger elder; Laura the Habitat woman). Even though I met them, I found myself sitting alone in worship. I hate sitting alone in church. Needless to say, this morning left me very frustrated. I felt so alone and yet horrible for feeling that way, as Lisa was pretty much alone in the hospital on her birthday. I'm trying to keep it all in perspective, to be thankful that things aren't any worse, that Lisa is going to be okay, that church is sure to get better as I meet more people . . . but right now it's hard.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
needs & stretching
Last night, as I was falling asleep I asked God to open my eyes to those who are forgotten and to open my ears to the stories that are often left untold. I don't know why His answering of my prayers still surprises me. . . but that's just how it is.
On my way to work, I saw a group of men, who I presume to be homeless, gathered under a bridge. They appeared to be a community, laughing, talking, and very much present with each other. As I drove from beneath the cover of the bridge, I wondered how many of my fellow commuters saw these men. If they did see them, did they recognize them as people? So often I think we (generally speaking) don't recognize that men, like this group, have gifts to share with others. They all have gifts, all have spirits, and all have problems. Just like me. Exactly like me. My circumstances have been different in some aspects, but I'm sure if I talked with them, we would have similar life experiences in one way or another.
Those thoughts have been heavy on my heart today. Each time I look out into the rain, I think of them. And then I think of the Vandy students who are walking along, who have just as many needs as those men do. Some needs might be the same; some could be very different. But needs all the same, just like the needs I have.
Where do I go from here? How do I meet those needs?
I'm going to keep praying that God open my eyes and ears, even if it means knowing things I would rather not see or hear. But I guess that's what this year is all about. A year of stretching myself and remembering that stretching (of any kind) keeps us flexible, making it easier to meet all those needs.
On my way to work, I saw a group of men, who I presume to be homeless, gathered under a bridge. They appeared to be a community, laughing, talking, and very much present with each other. As I drove from beneath the cover of the bridge, I wondered how many of my fellow commuters saw these men. If they did see them, did they recognize them as people? So often I think we (generally speaking) don't recognize that men, like this group, have gifts to share with others. They all have gifts, all have spirits, and all have problems. Just like me. Exactly like me. My circumstances have been different in some aspects, but I'm sure if I talked with them, we would have similar life experiences in one way or another.
Those thoughts have been heavy on my heart today. Each time I look out into the rain, I think of them. And then I think of the Vandy students who are walking along, who have just as many needs as those men do. Some needs might be the same; some could be very different. But needs all the same, just like the needs I have.
Where do I go from here? How do I meet those needs?
I'm going to keep praying that God open my eyes and ears, even if it means knowing things I would rather not see or hear. But I guess that's what this year is all about. A year of stretching myself and remembering that stretching (of any kind) keeps us flexible, making it easier to meet all those needs.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
balance
There is so much going on in my life. And while most of it has been enjoyable, I'm exhausted, nearing stressed, and just plain worn out. The weekend trip was great, and I loved the community building . . . but my body is sore (from rafting and daily trips to the YMCA). My personal to do list gets longer each day, and I don't feel like I have enough time to get everything done. I apologize to all those who have called, texted, emailed, or mailed me something without a response. Those expressions of kindness have not gone unnoticed. Thank goodness for leftovers from work, because I haven't gone grocery shopping. There are just so many things to see, to do, to experience. But I'm going to have to find a balance.
Talking of balance, I finally met my pastor yesterday. Ken Locke, the pastor of Downtown Presbyterian church (DPC) is a great guy. He showed me around the church (see pictures at http://www.dpchurch.com/dpctour.php), and then took me out for breakfast. He had me laughing, thinking deep, wanting balance in my life and got me even more excited to become a part of his church community. While they have a small congregation, they are active with two lunches each week for the homeless people of Nashville. It's my hope that I might be able to get Vandy students to go with me on Wednesdays to serve. Ken also was kind enough to get me connected with the Habitat people at DPC. I hope to work with them on the 27th.
After breakfast, I headed over to my office. Right now my office has become my haven. It's my space to simply be. With four roommates and a lot of shared house space, it's nice to have room to call my own. I'm not sure that having my office as my haven is healthy. . . who really wants to spend extra time in their office? But for now, until I can find someplace else, it works.
I'm slowly learning the signs my body gives me about needing to rest, to rejuvenate, and to be. I went to bed early last night, just to find clarity in my scattered brain. I woke this morning with clarity, with new understanding, and a slightly rested feeling. And since I went to bed early and woke early, I have time now before work to get caught up on my to do list. And I'd like to call that success in finding a bit of balance.
Talking of balance, I finally met my pastor yesterday. Ken Locke, the pastor of Downtown Presbyterian church (DPC) is a great guy. He showed me around the church (see pictures at http://www.dpchurch.com/dpctour.php), and then took me out for breakfast. He had me laughing, thinking deep, wanting balance in my life and got me even more excited to become a part of his church community. While they have a small congregation, they are active with two lunches each week for the homeless people of Nashville. It's my hope that I might be able to get Vandy students to go with me on Wednesdays to serve. Ken also was kind enough to get me connected with the Habitat people at DPC. I hope to work with them on the 27th.
After breakfast, I headed over to my office. Right now my office has become my haven. It's my space to simply be. With four roommates and a lot of shared house space, it's nice to have room to call my own. I'm not sure that having my office as my haven is healthy. . . who really wants to spend extra time in their office? But for now, until I can find someplace else, it works.
I'm slowly learning the signs my body gives me about needing to rest, to rejuvenate, and to be. I went to bed early last night, just to find clarity in my scattered brain. I woke this morning with clarity, with new understanding, and a slightly rested feeling. And since I went to bed early and woke early, I have time now before work to get caught up on my to do list. And I'd like to call that success in finding a bit of balance.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Things I learned this weekend
After a successful, yet exhausting weekend trip to Tims Ford lake & the Ocee river for rafting and water fun, this is a list of things I have learned:
*I am much more aware of animals on road trips and nature excursions than others. I spotted a fox, two spotted fawns, and a deer when others didn't. Is that a quality of PA girls or just Olson girls?!
*Staying in the raft while white water rafting isn't too hard; just wedge your feet under the inflated rubber and you won't really go too far.
*Campus ministry can be dirty. Literally. I helped to pack a cooler and got jam all over my hands. (But my cooler packing skills were much appreciated).
*I have a bad habit of over packing and still not having enough of what I really need.
*There is something wonderfully calming and strangely glamorous about sitting near water and just being.
*I am going to get a lot of food leftovers from PSF events. And my roommates love that!
*I am much more aware of animals on road trips and nature excursions than others. I spotted a fox, two spotted fawns, and a deer when others didn't. Is that a quality of PA girls or just Olson girls?!
*Staying in the raft while white water rafting isn't too hard; just wedge your feet under the inflated rubber and you won't really go too far.
*Campus ministry can be dirty. Literally. I helped to pack a cooler and got jam all over my hands. (But my cooler packing skills were much appreciated).
*I have a bad habit of over packing and still not having enough of what I really need.
*There is something wonderfully calming and strangely glamorous about sitting near water and just being.
*I am going to get a lot of food leftovers from PSF events. And my roommates love that!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
three days in
I'm sitting in my office. My office on the Vanderbilt Campus. That's just crazy.
My John Calvin bobble head, my Westminster paper weight, my First Covenant mouse pad are all proudly displayed on my desk. I even made room for one of my ceramic pieces to serve as a pen holder. My business cards are directly in front of that. Crazy!
Today is my third day at "work" on campus. I came on Tuesday, met with Jennifer, went over what sorts of things she wants me to be involved in, etc. Bob, the development director, Jennifer and I then headed over to Grins (pronounced greens)at the Jewish Schulman Center for lunch. After lunch, Jennifer showed me around campus. It's a beautiful and exciting place. When we got back to the Office of Religious Life building (where our offices are), she worked on writing her sermon, while I worked on emails, t-shirts, rafting details, and other odds and ends.
The best part of Tuesday was definitely the PSF worship. PSF worships in St. Augustine's Chapel on campus, which is a fabulous building. There were about 30 students there for worship and dinner. The theme of the year is "stories we live by. . . " with the first text from John 4.3-30. (I read aloud the words of Jesus). Dinner was provided by a couple from Second Pres, who are both Vandy employees and pastors. We had a great conversation about discernment. When I got home at about 8:35pm, with dinner leftovers, I was certainly exhausted, but it was a great first day!
Wednesday was another day of chatting with Jennifer, lunch on campus, meeting more new people, and seeing more beautiful buildings. I also got my Vanderbilt id and a PSF t-shirt. Jennifer and I also came into contact with some donated clothing that was going to be gotten rid of, so we had our own mini-shopping experience--my housemates really seemed to like the clothes!
Today was exciting in that I found my way here without Gladys, my GPS. First on the agenda was a meeting to discuss the Alternative Gift Fair. I'm excited to be helping with that, as it was always such an important part of the YPS year for me at Westminster. Later tonight is Theology on Tap, where I can hopefully talk about God, enjoy some pizza, and celebrate a victory with Titans fans.
Every morning so far, as I head home from the Y and see the city sky line, I'm thankful that God has guided me here. It's certainly starting to feel more like home everyday.
My John Calvin bobble head, my Westminster paper weight, my First Covenant mouse pad are all proudly displayed on my desk. I even made room for one of my ceramic pieces to serve as a pen holder. My business cards are directly in front of that. Crazy!
Today is my third day at "work" on campus. I came on Tuesday, met with Jennifer, went over what sorts of things she wants me to be involved in, etc. Bob, the development director, Jennifer and I then headed over to Grins (pronounced greens)at the Jewish Schulman Center for lunch. After lunch, Jennifer showed me around campus. It's a beautiful and exciting place. When we got back to the Office of Religious Life building (where our offices are), she worked on writing her sermon, while I worked on emails, t-shirts, rafting details, and other odds and ends.
The best part of Tuesday was definitely the PSF worship. PSF worships in St. Augustine's Chapel on campus, which is a fabulous building. There were about 30 students there for worship and dinner. The theme of the year is "stories we live by. . . " with the first text from John 4.3-30. (I read aloud the words of Jesus). Dinner was provided by a couple from Second Pres, who are both Vandy employees and pastors. We had a great conversation about discernment. When I got home at about 8:35pm, with dinner leftovers, I was certainly exhausted, but it was a great first day!
Wednesday was another day of chatting with Jennifer, lunch on campus, meeting more new people, and seeing more beautiful buildings. I also got my Vanderbilt id and a PSF t-shirt. Jennifer and I also came into contact with some donated clothing that was going to be gotten rid of, so we had our own mini-shopping experience--my housemates really seemed to like the clothes!
Today was exciting in that I found my way here without Gladys, my GPS. First on the agenda was a meeting to discuss the Alternative Gift Fair. I'm excited to be helping with that, as it was always such an important part of the YPS year for me at Westminster. Later tonight is Theology on Tap, where I can hopefully talk about God, enjoy some pizza, and celebrate a victory with Titans fans.
Every morning so far, as I head home from the Y and see the city sky line, I'm thankful that God has guided me here. It's certainly starting to feel more like home everyday.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
themes of life
Things are going really well. Jennifer and I chatted yesterday, talking about all the details for my first day on Tuesday. It will be a long first day, from about 11am until 9pm, but that's because of worship and dinner. I'm so excited (and a bit nervous) to get started. Then after a potentially quite Wednesday and Theology on Tap (TOT) on Thursday, I'll head off to a white water rafting trip with the Vandy kids. Bob, the development director, has promised to put me right in the front of the raft. . . I'll be sure to let you know how that works out!
This morning, we heard Bruce Reyes-Chow, the Moderator of the General Assembly. He was speaking at the More Light Conference at Second Presbyterian. The More Light Conference is part of the churches within the PCUSA who are accepting and welcoming of all people, regardless of sexual orientation. It was a new experience for me, but as most of this first week has been, it has challenged me to look at things differently. I've accepted that as my theme for this year: challenging my views and pushing me in new directions. (For example, the Episcopalian service I went to on Friday night challenged me to learn what is worshipful to me, and consequently what is not.)
Besides the challenges though, I'm really getting settled to the Nashville community. I joined the local YMCA today, got a Kroger's card--even with a mini-crisis about what to buy, can almost find my way across town, got my first package in the mail, got stuck in LP Field traffic for the Titans/Packers game, have met many friendly people, and have all ready become a regular at Ugly Mugs (where I'm sitting right now, listening to a live band.). I'm eager to get my schedule settled, but I'm also enjoying living semi-spontaneously as I go with the flow. All in all, I'm still very much at peace, still extremely confident that I am in the right place, and still very eager to get to work.
I want to sign off tonight, with this Martin Luther King Jr. quote that has been on my heart all day. It was in the Civil Rights room of the Public Library. I feel like it pertains to my life as well as it did his:
"I came to Nashville not to bring inspiration, but to gain inspiration from the great movement that has taken place in this community."
This morning, we heard Bruce Reyes-Chow, the Moderator of the General Assembly. He was speaking at the More Light Conference at Second Presbyterian. The More Light Conference is part of the churches within the PCUSA who are accepting and welcoming of all people, regardless of sexual orientation. It was a new experience for me, but as most of this first week has been, it has challenged me to look at things differently. I've accepted that as my theme for this year: challenging my views and pushing me in new directions. (For example, the Episcopalian service I went to on Friday night challenged me to learn what is worshipful to me, and consequently what is not.)
Besides the challenges though, I'm really getting settled to the Nashville community. I joined the local YMCA today, got a Kroger's card--even with a mini-crisis about what to buy, can almost find my way across town, got my first package in the mail, got stuck in LP Field traffic for the Titans/Packers game, have met many friendly people, and have all ready become a regular at Ugly Mugs (where I'm sitting right now, listening to a live band.). I'm eager to get my schedule settled, but I'm also enjoying living semi-spontaneously as I go with the flow. All in all, I'm still very much at peace, still extremely confident that I am in the right place, and still very eager to get to work.
I want to sign off tonight, with this Martin Luther King Jr. quote that has been on my heart all day. It was in the Civil Rights room of the Public Library. I feel like it pertains to my life as well as it did his:
"I came to Nashville not to bring inspiration, but to gain inspiration from the great movement that has taken place in this community."
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