Faith Story

**I've been working on this post for a month now. For whatever reason, I couldn't find the words to convey what I had experienced or how to process it all. But I think I've finally figured out how to share this experience with you.**

Each year, PSF worship is thematic. This year the theme is: Stories We Live By. Jennifer's sermons have all been based on Biblical stories, and each worship a student or PSF community member has shared part of their faith story. For whatever reason, I agreed to tell my story on January 19th, the first worship of the spring semester.

While I knew the date for my story for a decent amount of time, I didn't really prepare for it. I wasn't sure what story to share, how personal and deep to get, or even what could be of interest in my life to the students gathered. Sure, I've had lots of incredible life experiences, overcome my share of personal, family, and life challenges, and wrestled with faith, forming opinions, what to do with my gifts and talents, etc. But I still wasn't sure what to share. Even an hour before worship, I hadn't given much thought to what I would share. Instead I busied myself with preparing for worship and greeting students I hadn't seen in a few weeks. As worship began, I prayed that Jennifer's sermon would be spirit filled and reveal to me that which God wanted the gathered community to hear from my heart and life.

What I heard in her sermon was trusting in God to use us in the ways and means God saw fit. To serve with and through love. To not let our shortcomings prevent us from serving the God who has foolishly loved and saved generations of sinful and broken people. And, as with all good things, God revealed the story I needed to share.

When it was the time for my story, I nervously stood and opened my mouth to whatever needed to come out. I told about the first time I truly trusted in God. I told the story of my rector weekend on FootSteps 41 (a Christian high school weekend retreat that I lead in March 2005). I told of the struggles with the adult board, the questioning of my being worthy to lead, the responsibility that fell on my shoulders. I told of preparing a worship service, of earnest prayers to be a vessel that God flowed through. And I told, with fear and trembling, how I stood in the middle of 50 of my high school peers and silently argued with God--and how God "won" that argument, which meant that I genuinely let God flow through me. And that movement of God through me meant that I began to sing, out loud, "This Little Light of Mine." I closed my story by saying that it was that song filled moment that serves as the foundation of my faith, of the Christian service I continue to find myself doing (and can't get away from), and the truth of loving others in and through my own brokenness and shortcomings.

Sharing my story reminded me of how much I enjoy public speaking, of sharing my faith and life with others, and how incredible it is when I step aside and allow God to move in and through me. In my eagerness to discover what my next steps are to be, I think I should remember this story and sharing it at PSF to remind me that sometimes I have to be vulnerable and willing to have God's greatness pour through me.