great loves

Well we made it back from Memphis safely, after having a great trip. And this week has flown by. . . lots of appointments and tasks to be done. I helped with lunch at Downtown again, started my discernment Bible study, and painted a whole room (trim & door included) at a local non-profit, House of Mercy.

And through this week, with some discernment and introspection, I've realized some new great loves of mine:
*I've realized that I love volunteering and serving. I really do. I love being God's hands and feet, in whatever way that looks. Wednesday it took the form of putting away clean dishes at Downtown, today it was in the form of copying important papers for the Spring Break trip, and last weekend it was venturing around downtown Memphis with a group of great students.

*I love leading Bible Study or writing devotions and being amazed at how God brings new ideas and thoughts into my head. I love being able to articulate those ideas. Most times, I'm saying or writing something that I've never previously thought about. And it comes so fast that I, more often than not, can't tell you what I've said.

*I love living in an intentional Christian community, where I can be. True I'm living with four "strangers," but we've shared so much in the two-ish months we've been together, I can easily call them some of my closest friends.

*I love living in the South. And while I can't easily articulate this one, it really is a new, deep love of mine.

*I love working at PSF, establishing new friendships, laughing, and growing with the students in my love of life, service, and God.

*I also love this photo of me, taken during our rainy workday in Memphis:

cut-out houses

Today I went to Downtown Pres to help serve the Wednesday lunch for homeless men and women. The task I was assigned to was passing out desserts. There was an odd conglomeration of dessert items, but most of the desserts were green frosted cut-out cookies. The cookies were all in the shape of houses.

For some reason, I can't shake the fact that the cookies were green houses. Maybe because all the people we were serving were homeless, and I would guess want houses to live in. I don't know why it's bugging me so much, or even how I feel about house cookies going to the homeless. It's just something I keep thinking about and wanted to share.

Fall Break Trip

Today the six Vandy students, two German exchange students, and three PSF staff members leave for our social justice Fall break mission trip. We will be heading to Memphis for the weekend, serving with different organizations. We'll also be stopping at the Civil Rights and Stax museums, which I'm eager to experience. I also hope to see the duck march at the Peabody Hotel!

I hope you will join me in praying for safe travels, expanded horizons, opened eyes and hearts, and rejuvenation for our tired students and my weary soul.

Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on us. . .

spiritual catch up

It's been a bit of a challenging week or so since my last post. God is stretching me, and as is usual, it's not been comfortable.

Last Wednesday I had a male student question how I, as a woman, could possibly be called into ministry. He probed deeper, asking what my and the PC(USA)'s view was on 1 Corinthians 14:34, were Paul states that women should remain silent. I was stunned by his questions, they were totally unexpected, as most of my coffee dates with students are full of casual chit-chat. Unfortunately, I was totally caught off guard by his questions; these are questions I had never personally been asked before. I stumbled my way through a shoddy answer and left our time together feeling frustrated by my own lack of an answer. Jennifer was helpful as I discussed this conversation later, and has passed along a book (Being Presbyterian in the Bible Belt) to help me form an opinion, or at least a response when this question arises again, which it will she assures me, in seminary, if not before.

Consequently, I've been thinking a lot about his questions. It's caused me to think about my calling, the shape it is taking, and the path I'm feeling 'pulled' towards. If seminary is really the next step, I have a lot of reading, and personal exploration ahead of me, so I know how to answer those questions without too much hesitation. It has really rocked my world though. It now seems strange that I've been contemplating this call into the ministry for so long and this is the first time I can remember my sex being a reason to reconsider. I don't really think I'm reconsidering my call, but I've definitely been putting much more energy and focus into it after that conversation.

Using all that extra energy has caught up with me. I'm feeling drained in all ways, the little things are getting to me, and all of a sudden I'm homesick. Thanks be to God, though, who "arranged" for me to have wonderful conversations with my parents, Susan, Jennifer, and even Ken, the pastor at Downtown. In each conversation, I have found that talking through my feelings has really helped. Each of them has listened, given me the space to cry, to laugh, to be angry and to talk about all the reasons why "life is finally catching up with me." It appears to be true, that even you move away from home, do lots of self-reflection and discovery, but do not take the time to process it all, everything will catch up to you. The little things over the weekend were the final straws, causing my spirit to be drained and my lack of processing to catch up with me.

Now, almost a week after that conversation, I'm slowly feeling better. It's been a rough week but I've learned a lot and had a lot of conversations that have blessed my life.

Thanks be to God!

Thanks be to God!

I just got an email saying that not only have I reached my $4,000 support goal, but I've also well surpassed that mark!

Thank you to all of you, for your financial support, for reading this blog, and for all the prayers and love you continually send my way. Each and every aspect of your support is a blessing to me! May your day be as blessed and wonderful as mine has just become!

hometown

I've been feeling a mixture of emotions recently in regards to the word "home." I remember feeling this way at the beginning of my time at Westminster. Is it okay to call Nashville home? When and how does a place become home?

In my wonderings, I've thought of several potential criteria for defining a new place as home, such as:
-if one can find their way around the new place without too much effort, but I decided that wasn't a safe bet, upon thinking of Pittsburgh
-if one knows all the "cool" places to hang out, but that didn't seem valid either

And then two interesting things happened:

I was having a conversation with a pastor I had just met, and we were discussing how my roommate with the bike injury was doing. I said something to the effect of: "She's doing well, especially since she just moved back home last week." We talked a bit longer about it, and then with a confused look on his face, he asked me what home she had returned too. Without hesitation I replied that she had come back to the Cabana, the house we share in East Nashville. He then explained that his confusion came from me calling that her home. "Most YAVs aren't calling Nashville 'home' only a month or two in," he said with a smile.

While watching the Colts play(and win!) in Nashville, I felt a strong pang of ownership each time the NBC cameras showed downtown, the pedestrian bridge, an overview of the illuminated city, or even a view of the river. It was my city they were in. I repeated shared with my roommates that I love this place, my home.

It seems that whatever qualifications a place needs to become a "home" for me have been met. I am happy here, feeling settled, loved, and welcomed. I love the South, the new friends I've made, and even the Titans a little bit. 5358 will always be my home, just as Westminster will always be. And now Nashville holds a spot on that list; on my list of places my heart will always belong.

recap

It's been a world-wind since my last post. It's been so fast paced and crazy that it's hard to believe it's been a week since I turned 23. Here's a quick-ish recap of the last week:

*attended a breakfast about young adults in the church at the Vandy Divinity school; heard a lot of things that I believe to be important for young adults
*had lunch with Faye, my "host mother" from Downtown Pres @ a great coffee shop, called Frothy Monkey
*went and partied on Broadway on Friday night in some Honky Tonks; great live music
*went Good Will shopping with Jennifer. . . what a fun experience that was! I got all sorts of "new" clothes, and they are all name brand!
*went on the Art Crawl around downtown Nashville, which is a free event every first Saturday of the month
*been meeting with students all week and having great conversations with all of them
*had our first Guatemala meeting; looks like we'll have a group of about 10-15 students for Spring Break
*preparing for our fall break mission trip to Memphis, it's the 21st-25th (it's coming so fast!)
* helped get our 824 breakfast (a "thank you" to all our supporters)put together; Bob and I made the quiches and I told a part of my story on how I became a YAV


I'm really loving taking advantage of making new friends, the free events in and around the city, and the never ending activities of being connected with campus ministry!

birthday blessings

Yesterday was a wonderful day. The sun was shining all day; the puffy clouds floated away gently. My friends, family, Vandy people, and NEP girls really out did themselves in making it a fabulous day.

I woke early to have breakfast at Panera with a student. I loved the Cinnamon Crunch bagel :) After Panera with Nina, I headed across campus to meet another fun-loving student at the on campus Starbucks. I got lost along the way, ended up in the wrong building and was annoyed with myself. I stopped a student walking by, and she graciously and wonderfully escorted me to the Starbucks. We had a great conversation, what a blessing she was to my day. Tea with Lauren was fabulous; we share a lot of similar life experiences, hopes, and fears. After tea with her, I had my weekly meeting with Jennifer. She constantly challenges me to look at my life and my being differently--which I'm loving.

I was running behind for my next appointment when Jennifer and I finished, so I neglected to notice that my other co-workers had put a large sign up in the office, made me a cake, and wanted to celebrate! The next thing on my agenda was going to Downtown Pres to help with the Wednesday homeless lunch. I meet and engaged with several men there; Fabian even stood up and started singing "Happy Birthday" to me. Instead of saying my name, he called me Miss Pennsylvania. When Ken, my pastor, heard that it was my b-day, he acknowledged that it was his birthday as well. We are birthday buddies!

I spent the rest of my afternoon opening cards, laughing, returning phone calls, reading, and enjoying the blessings of another year and another special day. Thank you for the facebook posts, cards, phone calls, packages, gifts. . . you contributed to a wonderful day!