On my way to work today, I made eye contact with an apparent homeless man who was crossing the street. I smiled at him, and wondered where he was headed. I noticed, via my side mirror, that he put his bag down at the bus stop and then pulled out a cardboard sign. He then walked up and down the sidewalk, carrying his sign with him. I never actually saw his sign, but I'm sure I can guess what it said. It was probably something about being homeless, something about needing a ride or food, or even how he is a veteran.
When the light turned green, I drove on. I carried his face and apparent situation with me as I traveled through downtown Nashville, seeing other homeless people wandering around. I saw empty cans, plastic bags, and even a sleeping bag under a bridge I passed.
I've blogged before about how I've noticed the homeless community around me. How I pray for open eyes to see the need. But today it meant more and was heavier on my heart than before.
I didn't know what to do. So I stuck with routine. I opened my emails to find that Ken, my pastor here in Nashville, had sent out an email. It was a link to a news clip that aired last night about giving food to the homeless, highlighting Downtown's Wednesday lunch program. In the news clip, Ken said something that spoke right to my heart:
Wherever I am, if I am close to God, God will help me see the need of those around me.
I don't know how close (or far) I am from God most days. I know that I could be a lot closer, I could focus much more energy on my relationship with God, and that I have a lot of love to share that I don't. But there's something deep about Ken's quote, something that I've been trying to process all day long. Is that what it feels/looks like to be in relationship with God: to see the needs that surround you and act out of love to make the world better? Suddenly, I feel like that could be a very real answer to a very important question.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Advent Reality
It's been a hard day for me. A friend, the first friend I made at Vanderbilt, had a stroke yesterday. He is a young, healthy, law student, with a lot of ambition and potential. My heart is breaking for him and his family as they deal with all of this with Christmas so quickly approaching. My aunt had hip replacement surgery today too; which means Olson Christmas will be different. And of course Janson Christmas will be very different too. And it's final season on campus. You can feel the tension in the air.
Until today, I was feeling very relaxed and comfortable. Life was good, my big tasks and hurdles were completed a few days ago. I felt good about how everything came about: Sunday school, Alternative Gift Fair, the PSF Advent party, the Campus Wide Advent service. I was hopeful and expectant, as Advent challenges us to be. I was relishing in the sun & warm weather, embracing the many possibilities for my life post my YAV year, and enjoying spending time with the community I've established here.
In a matter of a few hours, it's become so much more complicated and uncomfortable. I know that joy and sorrow, calm and chaos are all to be expected in life. It still is crappy when life gets all shook up again though. So, I get by through praying for comfort and peace; healing and renewal of spirits; for hope to bless us all in the moments of hopelessness. That's the reality of Advent: finding a reason to be hopeful and expectant in a world and time when it's so hard to do that.
Until today, I was feeling very relaxed and comfortable. Life was good, my big tasks and hurdles were completed a few days ago. I felt good about how everything came about: Sunday school, Alternative Gift Fair, the PSF Advent party, the Campus Wide Advent service. I was hopeful and expectant, as Advent challenges us to be. I was relishing in the sun & warm weather, embracing the many possibilities for my life post my YAV year, and enjoying spending time with the community I've established here.
In a matter of a few hours, it's become so much more complicated and uncomfortable. I know that joy and sorrow, calm and chaos are all to be expected in life. It still is crappy when life gets all shook up again though. So, I get by through praying for comfort and peace; healing and renewal of spirits; for hope to bless us all in the moments of hopelessness. That's the reality of Advent: finding a reason to be hopeful and expectant in a world and time when it's so hard to do that.
Monday, December 14, 2009
PSF Devo
This is the devotion that I wrote for the weekly email Presbyterian Student Fellowship sends out each Monday. I hope it moves you and causes you to think of the life changing moments you have each day. Blessings!
Sunday night was my first Christmas pageant experience. It was quite an experience: costumes, props, singing, joking, and a for-real videographer. I went with some of my housemates to Second Presbyterian’s “The Backwards Christmas Pageant.” I didn’t understand the title until the play started and the wise people appeared first. Then it dawned on me: backwards means the story is going to go backwards.
As the pageant continued, the story got closer to Jesus. The wise people came and went; the shepherds disappeared before the audience knew where they had fled to (the manager), and the sheep continued to wander through the sanctuary. Near the end of the pageant, Mary and Joseph were talking about what it meant to welcome Jesus into their lives. Joseph was questioning how Mary felt about it all—especially the part with the angel telling her she was to have God’s son, when she simply replied: “There are moments that change everything, and this was one of them.” Later in the pageant, as the gathered characters stood over the manger, adoring the babe, the narrator kept saying: “This will change everything.”
We’ve all had those moments, the moments in our own lives that change everything: the moments of new life, death, moving away from home, trips to distant lands, deep conversations, etc. Beyond those moments, there was a babe born in a manger who changed everything. His life was a million moments that changed everything—from the angel that proclaimed his birth, to the miracles, to a painful death on a cross, to a glorious resurrection. Every moment about his life changed everything we know. All of his moments make our life changing moments mean something much more.
While this Advent season is full of finals and heading home for the holidays, remember that each and every moment you have in your life has the power and the ability to change things, just as all of Christ’s moments have changed everything.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people.
To all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God. John 1. 1-4; 12-13
Sunday night was my first Christmas pageant experience. It was quite an experience: costumes, props, singing, joking, and a for-real videographer. I went with some of my housemates to Second Presbyterian’s “The Backwards Christmas Pageant.” I didn’t understand the title until the play started and the wise people appeared first. Then it dawned on me: backwards means the story is going to go backwards.
As the pageant continued, the story got closer to Jesus. The wise people came and went; the shepherds disappeared before the audience knew where they had fled to (the manager), and the sheep continued to wander through the sanctuary. Near the end of the pageant, Mary and Joseph were talking about what it meant to welcome Jesus into their lives. Joseph was questioning how Mary felt about it all—especially the part with the angel telling her she was to have God’s son, when she simply replied: “There are moments that change everything, and this was one of them.” Later in the pageant, as the gathered characters stood over the manger, adoring the babe, the narrator kept saying: “This will change everything.”
We’ve all had those moments, the moments in our own lives that change everything: the moments of new life, death, moving away from home, trips to distant lands, deep conversations, etc. Beyond those moments, there was a babe born in a manger who changed everything. His life was a million moments that changed everything—from the angel that proclaimed his birth, to the miracles, to a painful death on a cross, to a glorious resurrection. Every moment about his life changed everything we know. All of his moments make our life changing moments mean something much more.
While this Advent season is full of finals and heading home for the holidays, remember that each and every moment you have in your life has the power and the ability to change things, just as all of Christ’s moments have changed everything.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people.
To all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God. John 1. 1-4; 12-13
Monday, December 7, 2009
Advent adoration
It's 10:56pm Central time, and I just got home from work. Granted I went in at 2pm this afternoon, so I did put in my 8 hours. But I got home so late tonight because of the Campus Wide Advent service. Jennifer and I put the worship service together, and then other other campus ministers did readings and had students from their fellowship groups share stories based on the liturgy. We used a liturgy that focused on some of the signs of Advent: the cedar branch which is a sign of majesty, holly and ivy as signs of pain and love, the evergreen wreath as a sign of life and peace, and finally the Christmas tree, a sign of light in darkness.
It was a beautiful service. . . ending in carols and candle light. And as I stood there, singing, "O Come, All Ye Faithful" with my lit candle, I was struck by how the Spirit was moving through St. Augustine's chapel. Even though I did help plan the service, and therefore am a bit bias, I think it might be the most moving Advent service I have been to.
I was also struck with what it means to 'adore' Christ. When I think of the word 'adore,' I immediately think of a cute baby that someone is cooing over; chubby checks to squeeze, and bright open eyes that are trying to take in and make sense of the whole world. Is that what Jesus was like in the manager. . . trying to take in the whole world with his mother cooing over his head? Or was he all ready aware at that point of his role in the world, that he would in fact take in the whole world with his love?
What does it look like for me to adore him now? How do I go about adoring Christ? There is so much in this world that is not adorable, how do I move beyond that? How do I come before Christ and adore him?
I've just decided that that question is going to be my Advent prayer; that in this time of expectant waiting and hoping, that I would find out what it means/looks like to come to Christ the Lord and adore him.
It was a beautiful service. . . ending in carols and candle light. And as I stood there, singing, "O Come, All Ye Faithful" with my lit candle, I was struck by how the Spirit was moving through St. Augustine's chapel. Even though I did help plan the service, and therefore am a bit bias, I think it might be the most moving Advent service I have been to.
I was also struck with what it means to 'adore' Christ. When I think of the word 'adore,' I immediately think of a cute baby that someone is cooing over; chubby checks to squeeze, and bright open eyes that are trying to take in and make sense of the whole world. Is that what Jesus was like in the manager. . . trying to take in the whole world with his mother cooing over his head? Or was he all ready aware at that point of his role in the world, that he would in fact take in the whole world with his love?
What does it look like for me to adore him now? How do I go about adoring Christ? There is so much in this world that is not adorable, how do I move beyond that? How do I come before Christ and adore him?
I've just decided that that question is going to be my Advent prayer; that in this time of expectant waiting and hoping, that I would find out what it means/looks like to come to Christ the Lord and adore him.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
strenghts and weaknesses
Yesterday, as is usual for the Nashville YAV community, we gathered for our time of vocational discernment. This week we talked about the book we read: "Community and Growth." It was a good book, a little long, but a good read on all aspects of Christian community. While discussing one of the chapters, Liz shared a thought that has been on my mind ever since. Liz shared that: "I came into this year thinking I would be working on my strengths, instead I've been working on all my weaknesses."
The same thing has been true in my life. I've been working on all the things that challenge me: saying 'no,' trying to find balance, passing judgment, speaking up for what I believe in. . . this list could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.
The YAV motto is: A year of service for a lifetime of change. While I'm sure I've made some change through PSF or maybe even Downtown Pres, I'm realizing now that a lot of change is happening within me, in how I view the world, and in the life I'm now living. Working on my weaknesses is hard, but it will certainly create a change in me.
The same thing has been true in my life. I've been working on all the things that challenge me: saying 'no,' trying to find balance, passing judgment, speaking up for what I believe in. . . this list could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.
The YAV motto is: A year of service for a lifetime of change. While I'm sure I've made some change through PSF or maybe even Downtown Pres, I'm realizing now that a lot of change is happening within me, in how I view the world, and in the life I'm now living. Working on my weaknesses is hard, but it will certainly create a change in me.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
lists
December 1st marked the beginning of my fourth month in Nashville. And in the day to day hustle and bustle, so much happens. And while some thoughts and sights are profound, or interesting, or challenging, this blog entry is simply going to be a list of some of the ways I've spent the last three months.
At Vanderbilt, with the Presbyterian Student Fellowship, I:
-take students out for coffee and conversation
-help to physically prepare our worship space each Tuesday night
-participate in Tuesday night worship
-send emails, hand-written cards, text messages, facebook posts to students, graduate students, Jennifer, and other campus ministers. Occasionally family and friends get them too. :)
-have lunch in the First Year cafeteria each Monday
-attend the graduate Theology on Tap program each Thursday night
-go to the mission events, monthly Council meetings(imagine a college session meeting), and have even gone to a Board meeting
-go grocery shopping for the ministry events, and occasionally cook the food
-have gone white water rafting, to Memphis for fall break, and am planning/helping to organize the Montreat College Conference trip, the Ski trip, and the spring break trip to Guatemala
-participate in a Bible Study and led a four week discussion group on discernment and call
In Nashville I:
-have played in the Bicentennial Mall fountains
-hiked at Radnor Lake
-have enjoyed the green ways at Shelby Bottoms
-used the airport four times in three months
-enjoyed the ArtCrawl downtown
-have learned (slowly) the highway and road systems
For the Nashville Epiphany Project (my host agency, so to speak) I:
-attend Friday morning sessions with the seven other YAVs and Susan to talk about life, discernment, discuss books we've been reading, and listening to other people tell their discernment stories
-live with four of the YAVs in an 1,100sq. ft. house in East Nashville
-have intentional community time each Monday night
-attend church at Downtown Presbyterian Church
-meet with Janet, a career counselor and an ordained PC(USA) pastor
-meet with Susan to "check in" about how I'm doing
At Downtown Pres I:
-worship
-will be teaching Sunday school on my trip to Malawi, and how that influenced me to become a YAV
-serve lunch and breakfast to the homeless people who gather on Wednesday afternoons and Sunday mornings
-work with Habitat for Humanity
-visit with new found friends
-serve at their annual 'Waffle Shop' fundraiser (imagine an entire church fellowship hall filled with the smell of waffles, grits, sausage, and coffee.)
-have breakfast and share stories and laughs, and occasionally tears with the pastor, Ken
-am slowly embracing the community there that is embracing me
In my own life and faith life I:
-was worried and in constant prayer for my Gramps and Gram through the whole cancer struggle, and cried each time something happened that I couldn't be present in PA for
-continue to mourn Gramps' loss, while trying to rejoice in the promise of the Church Triumphant
-question often what my call in life is
-wonder what God wants me to do next year
-try to imagine living in Nashville long term or moving to a new place
-struggle to stay in contact with people from Westminster and Erie
-struggle to keep healthy life boundaries
As I hope you can tell I'm loving this city, the people I work, live, and fellowship with, the work I'm doing, and the growth I know is transpiring by constantly putting myself out there and processing all the changes that have happened.
But then there is the whole being away from family and friends as exciting and difficult things happen. There is the self-imposed urgency on what my next step in life will be. And then the Advent/Christmas chaos is also settling in. It's safe to say that I'm not entirely emotionally stable with all that's going on. But I've been thinking and processing, reflecting and talking about all that's going on, which is constantly proving to be helpful. A lot has happened in three months; and in the months to follow there is going to be much more . . . and I can only imagine what that list is going to look like.
At Vanderbilt, with the Presbyterian Student Fellowship, I:
-take students out for coffee and conversation
-help to physically prepare our worship space each Tuesday night
-participate in Tuesday night worship
-send emails, hand-written cards, text messages, facebook posts to students, graduate students, Jennifer, and other campus ministers. Occasionally family and friends get them too. :)
-have lunch in the First Year cafeteria each Monday
-attend the graduate Theology on Tap program each Thursday night
-go to the mission events, monthly Council meetings(imagine a college session meeting), and have even gone to a Board meeting
-go grocery shopping for the ministry events, and occasionally cook the food
-have gone white water rafting, to Memphis for fall break, and am planning/helping to organize the Montreat College Conference trip, the Ski trip, and the spring break trip to Guatemala
-participate in a Bible Study and led a four week discussion group on discernment and call
In Nashville I:
-have played in the Bicentennial Mall fountains
-hiked at Radnor Lake
-have enjoyed the green ways at Shelby Bottoms
-used the airport four times in three months
-enjoyed the ArtCrawl downtown
-have learned (slowly) the highway and road systems
For the Nashville Epiphany Project (my host agency, so to speak) I:
-attend Friday morning sessions with the seven other YAVs and Susan to talk about life, discernment, discuss books we've been reading, and listening to other people tell their discernment stories
-live with four of the YAVs in an 1,100sq. ft. house in East Nashville
-have intentional community time each Monday night
-attend church at Downtown Presbyterian Church
-meet with Janet, a career counselor and an ordained PC(USA) pastor
-meet with Susan to "check in" about how I'm doing
At Downtown Pres I:
-worship
-will be teaching Sunday school on my trip to Malawi, and how that influenced me to become a YAV
-serve lunch and breakfast to the homeless people who gather on Wednesday afternoons and Sunday mornings
-work with Habitat for Humanity
-visit with new found friends
-serve at their annual 'Waffle Shop' fundraiser (imagine an entire church fellowship hall filled with the smell of waffles, grits, sausage, and coffee.)
-have breakfast and share stories and laughs, and occasionally tears with the pastor, Ken
-am slowly embracing the community there that is embracing me
In my own life and faith life I:
-was worried and in constant prayer for my Gramps and Gram through the whole cancer struggle, and cried each time something happened that I couldn't be present in PA for
-continue to mourn Gramps' loss, while trying to rejoice in the promise of the Church Triumphant
-question often what my call in life is
-wonder what God wants me to do next year
-try to imagine living in Nashville long term or moving to a new place
-struggle to stay in contact with people from Westminster and Erie
-struggle to keep healthy life boundaries
As I hope you can tell I'm loving this city, the people I work, live, and fellowship with, the work I'm doing, and the growth I know is transpiring by constantly putting myself out there and processing all the changes that have happened.
But then there is the whole being away from family and friends as exciting and difficult things happen. There is the self-imposed urgency on what my next step in life will be. And then the Advent/Christmas chaos is also settling in. It's safe to say that I'm not entirely emotionally stable with all that's going on. But I've been thinking and processing, reflecting and talking about all that's going on, which is constantly proving to be helpful. A lot has happened in three months; and in the months to follow there is going to be much more . . . and I can only imagine what that list is going to look like.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
smile in my eyes
Yesterday was one of those busy, glorious kinds of days.
I had tasks, emails, coffee dates with students, house community time and fabulous conversations all around. I had happy thoughts about my family, embraced having too much to do (but found the time to do most of it) and pushed myself to be positive and energy filled even at the close of the day.
Sometimes I surprise myself when I mentally challenge myself to be excited and positive. I can pull it off. . . most of the time. I harness an energy from deep within and go with it. I can feel my smile in my eyes. And the more I smile in my eyes, the more I'm feeling it deep in my heart. True, my heart is still hurting, and my body and mind are still tired and worn down.
But, I'm making it. And I'm growing into a spiritually richer person who is working at finding joy in the little things. Little things like heart-warming coffee conversations, sunny November days, and breakfast dates with new found friends. Can you see the smile in my eyes?
I had tasks, emails, coffee dates with students, house community time and fabulous conversations all around. I had happy thoughts about my family, embraced having too much to do (but found the time to do most of it) and pushed myself to be positive and energy filled even at the close of the day.
Sometimes I surprise myself when I mentally challenge myself to be excited and positive. I can pull it off. . . most of the time. I harness an energy from deep within and go with it. I can feel my smile in my eyes. And the more I smile in my eyes, the more I'm feeling it deep in my heart. True, my heart is still hurting, and my body and mind are still tired and worn down.
But, I'm making it. And I'm growing into a spiritually richer person who is working at finding joy in the little things. Little things like heart-warming coffee conversations, sunny November days, and breakfast dates with new found friends. Can you see the smile in my eyes?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
signs for comfort
This is my 30th post. 30 is my favorite number, mostly because of my birthday. But my second favorite number is 3. I like 3 because it's the 30 without a zero. But I love 3 because it reminds me that I'm #3 in the Janson family granddaughters. And this weekend, while in Erie for Gramps' services, I have never been more proud to be called by number.
We had over 50 family members come in, saw about 400 people in the four hours of his viewing, and then had a beautiful tribute to his life on Sunday. My heart is still heavy with his "passing" and having to return to Nashville while the family is still together in Erie. But I have to move on. I'd be hurting myself, and I'd like to think Gramps, if I left Nashville and the work I'm doing here. True, some days, I wonder what exactly I'm doing. I feel like I write emails that are never responded to, that I have hour conversations that only skim the surface. I go home to new friends and never take advantage of all the possibilities Nashville holds for me.
But, in the last week, I've felt and seen glimpses of being in the right place. It was in the emails and facebook posts from new Nashville friends that shared their condolences. It was the phone calls and messages, just to "check in." It was seeing my Westminster adviser in the airport on my way back to Tennessee. It was also the Sherwin-Williams truck that passed me; the Veterans that proudly walked around town yesterday. It's been reading daily devotions that talk about the Saints that have gone before us.
I've been asking God for a sign to let me know that Gramps is okay. Maybe they've been there all along. I guess my prayers should be for God to open my heart and eyes to the messages He's always been sending.
We had over 50 family members come in, saw about 400 people in the four hours of his viewing, and then had a beautiful tribute to his life on Sunday. My heart is still heavy with his "passing" and having to return to Nashville while the family is still together in Erie. But I have to move on. I'd be hurting myself, and I'd like to think Gramps, if I left Nashville and the work I'm doing here. True, some days, I wonder what exactly I'm doing. I feel like I write emails that are never responded to, that I have hour conversations that only skim the surface. I go home to new friends and never take advantage of all the possibilities Nashville holds for me.
But, in the last week, I've felt and seen glimpses of being in the right place. It was in the emails and facebook posts from new Nashville friends that shared their condolences. It was the phone calls and messages, just to "check in." It was seeing my Westminster adviser in the airport on my way back to Tennessee. It was also the Sherwin-Williams truck that passed me; the Veterans that proudly walked around town yesterday. It's been reading daily devotions that talk about the Saints that have gone before us.
I've been asking God for a sign to let me know that Gramps is okay. Maybe they've been there all along. I guess my prayers should be for God to open my heart and eyes to the messages He's always been sending.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
"but the greatest of these is love"
My last post was about the new great loves of my life. Yesterday morning one of my life's greatest loves had passed from this world. My Gramps died after his two month battle with lymphoma of the brain.I still can't wrap my head around the idea that I won't see him, his big smile, or receive one of his empowering hugs. It's been a hard two months for me, especially since the last time I saw him was before any of this had happened--I learned of the brain tumor after I was all ready at YAV Orientation.
I head home on Friday morning for some much needed family time, viewings, and the service. I'm joyful and excited to see my family, to be with them, and to celebrate the great of love of life that Gramps always carried with him. It will certainly be hard, but I know that his love is with me, and enables me to live and serve each day here in Nashville.
Thank you for all your prayers and love.
Blessings from Gramps' #3,
Bethany
I head home on Friday morning for some much needed family time, viewings, and the service. I'm joyful and excited to see my family, to be with them, and to celebrate the great of love of life that Gramps always carried with him. It will certainly be hard, but I know that his love is with me, and enables me to live and serve each day here in Nashville.
Thank you for all your prayers and love.
Blessings from Gramps' #3,
Bethany
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
CNN Interview
A really cool CNN interview with a former YAV who served in Kenya. Check it out @
http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/bestoftv/2009/11/01/fof.kenyan.mission.cnn.html
http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/bestoftv/2009/11/01/fof.kenyan.mission.cnn.html
Thursday, October 29, 2009
great loves
Well we made it back from Memphis safely, after having a great trip. And this week has flown by. . . lots of appointments and tasks to be done. I helped with lunch at Downtown again, started my discernment Bible study, and painted a whole room (trim & door included) at a local non-profit, House of Mercy.
And through this week, with some discernment and introspection, I've realized some new great loves of mine:
*I've realized that I love volunteering and serving. I really do. I love being God's hands and feet, in whatever way that looks. Wednesday it took the form of putting away clean dishes at Downtown, today it was in the form of copying important papers for the Spring Break trip, and last weekend it was venturing around downtown Memphis with a group of great students.
*I love leading Bible Study or writing devotions and being amazed at how God brings new ideas and thoughts into my head. I love being able to articulate those ideas. Most times, I'm saying or writing something that I've never previously thought about. And it comes so fast that I, more often than not, can't tell you what I've said.
*I love living in an intentional Christian community, where I can be. True I'm living with four "strangers," but we've shared so much in the two-ish months we've been together, I can easily call them some of my closest friends.
*I love living in the South. And while I can't easily articulate this one, it really is a new, deep love of mine.
*I love working at PSF, establishing new friendships, laughing, and growing with the students in my love of life, service, and God.
*I also love this photo of me, taken during our rainy workday in Memphis:
And through this week, with some discernment and introspection, I've realized some new great loves of mine:
*I've realized that I love volunteering and serving. I really do. I love being God's hands and feet, in whatever way that looks. Wednesday it took the form of putting away clean dishes at Downtown, today it was in the form of copying important papers for the Spring Break trip, and last weekend it was venturing around downtown Memphis with a group of great students.
*I love leading Bible Study or writing devotions and being amazed at how God brings new ideas and thoughts into my head. I love being able to articulate those ideas. Most times, I'm saying or writing something that I've never previously thought about. And it comes so fast that I, more often than not, can't tell you what I've said.
*I love living in an intentional Christian community, where I can be. True I'm living with four "strangers," but we've shared so much in the two-ish months we've been together, I can easily call them some of my closest friends.
*I love living in the South. And while I can't easily articulate this one, it really is a new, deep love of mine.
*I love working at PSF, establishing new friendships, laughing, and growing with the students in my love of life, service, and God.
*I also love this photo of me, taken during our rainy workday in Memphis:
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
cut-out houses
Today I went to Downtown Pres to help serve the Wednesday lunch for homeless men and women. The task I was assigned to was passing out desserts. There was an odd conglomeration of dessert items, but most of the desserts were green frosted cut-out cookies. The cookies were all in the shape of houses.
For some reason, I can't shake the fact that the cookies were green houses. Maybe because all the people we were serving were homeless, and I would guess want houses to live in. I don't know why it's bugging me so much, or even how I feel about house cookies going to the homeless. It's just something I keep thinking about and wanted to share.
For some reason, I can't shake the fact that the cookies were green houses. Maybe because all the people we were serving were homeless, and I would guess want houses to live in. I don't know why it's bugging me so much, or even how I feel about house cookies going to the homeless. It's just something I keep thinking about and wanted to share.
Fall Break Trip
Today the six Vandy students, two German exchange students, and three PSF staff members leave for our social justice Fall break mission trip. We will be heading to Memphis for the weekend, serving with different organizations. We'll also be stopping at the Civil Rights and Stax museums, which I'm eager to experience. I also hope to see the duck march at the Peabody Hotel!
I hope you will join me in praying for safe travels, expanded horizons, opened eyes and hearts, and rejuvenation for our tired students and my weary soul.
Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on us. . .
I hope you will join me in praying for safe travels, expanded horizons, opened eyes and hearts, and rejuvenation for our tired students and my weary soul.
Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on us. . .
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
spiritual catch up
It's been a bit of a challenging week or so since my last post. God is stretching me, and as is usual, it's not been comfortable.
Last Wednesday I had a male student question how I, as a woman, could possibly be called into ministry. He probed deeper, asking what my and the PC(USA)'s view was on 1 Corinthians 14:34, were Paul states that women should remain silent. I was stunned by his questions, they were totally unexpected, as most of my coffee dates with students are full of casual chit-chat. Unfortunately, I was totally caught off guard by his questions; these are questions I had never personally been asked before. I stumbled my way through a shoddy answer and left our time together feeling frustrated by my own lack of an answer. Jennifer was helpful as I discussed this conversation later, and has passed along a book (Being Presbyterian in the Bible Belt) to help me form an opinion, or at least a response when this question arises again, which it will she assures me, in seminary, if not before.
Consequently, I've been thinking a lot about his questions. It's caused me to think about my calling, the shape it is taking, and the path I'm feeling 'pulled' towards. If seminary is really the next step, I have a lot of reading, and personal exploration ahead of me, so I know how to answer those questions without too much hesitation. It has really rocked my world though. It now seems strange that I've been contemplating this call into the ministry for so long and this is the first time I can remember my sex being a reason to reconsider. I don't really think I'm reconsidering my call, but I've definitely been putting much more energy and focus into it after that conversation.
Using all that extra energy has caught up with me. I'm feeling drained in all ways, the little things are getting to me, and all of a sudden I'm homesick. Thanks be to God, though, who "arranged" for me to have wonderful conversations with my parents, Susan, Jennifer, and even Ken, the pastor at Downtown. In each conversation, I have found that talking through my feelings has really helped. Each of them has listened, given me the space to cry, to laugh, to be angry and to talk about all the reasons why "life is finally catching up with me." It appears to be true, that even you move away from home, do lots of self-reflection and discovery, but do not take the time to process it all, everything will catch up to you. The little things over the weekend were the final straws, causing my spirit to be drained and my lack of processing to catch up with me.
Now, almost a week after that conversation, I'm slowly feeling better. It's been a rough week but I've learned a lot and had a lot of conversations that have blessed my life.
Last Wednesday I had a male student question how I, as a woman, could possibly be called into ministry. He probed deeper, asking what my and the PC(USA)'s view was on 1 Corinthians 14:34, were Paul states that women should remain silent. I was stunned by his questions, they were totally unexpected, as most of my coffee dates with students are full of casual chit-chat. Unfortunately, I was totally caught off guard by his questions; these are questions I had never personally been asked before. I stumbled my way through a shoddy answer and left our time together feeling frustrated by my own lack of an answer. Jennifer was helpful as I discussed this conversation later, and has passed along a book (Being Presbyterian in the Bible Belt) to help me form an opinion, or at least a response when this question arises again, which it will she assures me, in seminary, if not before.
Consequently, I've been thinking a lot about his questions. It's caused me to think about my calling, the shape it is taking, and the path I'm feeling 'pulled' towards. If seminary is really the next step, I have a lot of reading, and personal exploration ahead of me, so I know how to answer those questions without too much hesitation. It has really rocked my world though. It now seems strange that I've been contemplating this call into the ministry for so long and this is the first time I can remember my sex being a reason to reconsider. I don't really think I'm reconsidering my call, but I've definitely been putting much more energy and focus into it after that conversation.
Using all that extra energy has caught up with me. I'm feeling drained in all ways, the little things are getting to me, and all of a sudden I'm homesick. Thanks be to God, though, who "arranged" for me to have wonderful conversations with my parents, Susan, Jennifer, and even Ken, the pastor at Downtown. In each conversation, I have found that talking through my feelings has really helped. Each of them has listened, given me the space to cry, to laugh, to be angry and to talk about all the reasons why "life is finally catching up with me." It appears to be true, that even you move away from home, do lots of self-reflection and discovery, but do not take the time to process it all, everything will catch up to you. The little things over the weekend were the final straws, causing my spirit to be drained and my lack of processing to catch up with me.
Now, almost a week after that conversation, I'm slowly feeling better. It's been a rough week but I've learned a lot and had a lot of conversations that have blessed my life.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Thanks be to God!
Thanks be to God!
I just got an email saying that not only have I reached my $4,000 support goal, but I've also well surpassed that mark!
Thank you to all of you, for your financial support, for reading this blog, and for all the prayers and love you continually send my way. Each and every aspect of your support is a blessing to me! May your day be as blessed and wonderful as mine has just become!
I just got an email saying that not only have I reached my $4,000 support goal, but I've also well surpassed that mark!
Thank you to all of you, for your financial support, for reading this blog, and for all the prayers and love you continually send my way. Each and every aspect of your support is a blessing to me! May your day be as blessed and wonderful as mine has just become!
Monday, October 12, 2009
hometown
I've been feeling a mixture of emotions recently in regards to the word "home." I remember feeling this way at the beginning of my time at Westminster. Is it okay to call Nashville home? When and how does a place become home?
In my wonderings, I've thought of several potential criteria for defining a new place as home, such as:
-if one can find their way around the new place without too much effort, but I decided that wasn't a safe bet, upon thinking of Pittsburgh
-if one knows all the "cool" places to hang out, but that didn't seem valid either
And then two interesting things happened:
I was having a conversation with a pastor I had just met, and we were discussing how my roommate with the bike injury was doing. I said something to the effect of: "She's doing well, especially since she just moved back home last week." We talked a bit longer about it, and then with a confused look on his face, he asked me what home she had returned too. Without hesitation I replied that she had come back to the Cabana, the house we share in East Nashville. He then explained that his confusion came from me calling that her home. "Most YAVs aren't calling Nashville 'home' only a month or two in," he said with a smile.
While watching the Colts play(and win!) in Nashville, I felt a strong pang of ownership each time the NBC cameras showed downtown, the pedestrian bridge, an overview of the illuminated city, or even a view of the river. It was my city they were in. I repeated shared with my roommates that I love this place, my home.
It seems that whatever qualifications a place needs to become a "home" for me have been met. I am happy here, feeling settled, loved, and welcomed. I love the South, the new friends I've made, and even the Titans a little bit. 5358 will always be my home, just as Westminster will always be. And now Nashville holds a spot on that list; on my list of places my heart will always belong.
In my wonderings, I've thought of several potential criteria for defining a new place as home, such as:
-if one can find their way around the new place without too much effort, but I decided that wasn't a safe bet, upon thinking of Pittsburgh
-if one knows all the "cool" places to hang out, but that didn't seem valid either
And then two interesting things happened:
I was having a conversation with a pastor I had just met, and we were discussing how my roommate with the bike injury was doing. I said something to the effect of: "She's doing well, especially since she just moved back home last week." We talked a bit longer about it, and then with a confused look on his face, he asked me what home she had returned too. Without hesitation I replied that she had come back to the Cabana, the house we share in East Nashville. He then explained that his confusion came from me calling that her home. "Most YAVs aren't calling Nashville 'home' only a month or two in," he said with a smile.
While watching the Colts play(and win!) in Nashville, I felt a strong pang of ownership each time the NBC cameras showed downtown, the pedestrian bridge, an overview of the illuminated city, or even a view of the river. It was my city they were in. I repeated shared with my roommates that I love this place, my home.
It seems that whatever qualifications a place needs to become a "home" for me have been met. I am happy here, feeling settled, loved, and welcomed. I love the South, the new friends I've made, and even the Titans a little bit. 5358 will always be my home, just as Westminster will always be. And now Nashville holds a spot on that list; on my list of places my heart will always belong.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
recap
It's been a world-wind since my last post. It's been so fast paced and crazy that it's hard to believe it's been a week since I turned 23. Here's a quick-ish recap of the last week:
*attended a breakfast about young adults in the church at the Vandy Divinity school; heard a lot of things that I believe to be important for young adults
*had lunch with Faye, my "host mother" from Downtown Pres @ a great coffee shop, called Frothy Monkey
*went and partied on Broadway on Friday night in some Honky Tonks; great live music
*went Good Will shopping with Jennifer. . . what a fun experience that was! I got all sorts of "new" clothes, and they are all name brand!
*went on the Art Crawl around downtown Nashville, which is a free event every first Saturday of the month
*been meeting with students all week and having great conversations with all of them
*had our first Guatemala meeting; looks like we'll have a group of about 10-15 students for Spring Break
*preparing for our fall break mission trip to Memphis, it's the 21st-25th (it's coming so fast!)
* helped get our 824 breakfast (a "thank you" to all our supporters)put together; Bob and I made the quiches and I told a part of my story on how I became a YAV
I'm really loving taking advantage of making new friends, the free events in and around the city, and the never ending activities of being connected with campus ministry!
*attended a breakfast about young adults in the church at the Vandy Divinity school; heard a lot of things that I believe to be important for young adults
*had lunch with Faye, my "host mother" from Downtown Pres @ a great coffee shop, called Frothy Monkey
*went and partied on Broadway on Friday night in some Honky Tonks; great live music
*went Good Will shopping with Jennifer. . . what a fun experience that was! I got all sorts of "new" clothes, and they are all name brand!
*went on the Art Crawl around downtown Nashville, which is a free event every first Saturday of the month
*been meeting with students all week and having great conversations with all of them
*had our first Guatemala meeting; looks like we'll have a group of about 10-15 students for Spring Break
*preparing for our fall break mission trip to Memphis, it's the 21st-25th (it's coming so fast!)
* helped get our 824 breakfast (a "thank you" to all our supporters)put together; Bob and I made the quiches and I told a part of my story on how I became a YAV
I'm really loving taking advantage of making new friends, the free events in and around the city, and the never ending activities of being connected with campus ministry!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
birthday blessings
Yesterday was a wonderful day. The sun was shining all day; the puffy clouds floated away gently. My friends, family, Vandy people, and NEP girls really out did themselves in making it a fabulous day.
I woke early to have breakfast at Panera with a student. I loved the Cinnamon Crunch bagel :) After Panera with Nina, I headed across campus to meet another fun-loving student at the on campus Starbucks. I got lost along the way, ended up in the wrong building and was annoyed with myself. I stopped a student walking by, and she graciously and wonderfully escorted me to the Starbucks. We had a great conversation, what a blessing she was to my day. Tea with Lauren was fabulous; we share a lot of similar life experiences, hopes, and fears. After tea with her, I had my weekly meeting with Jennifer. She constantly challenges me to look at my life and my being differently--which I'm loving.
I was running behind for my next appointment when Jennifer and I finished, so I neglected to notice that my other co-workers had put a large sign up in the office, made me a cake, and wanted to celebrate! The next thing on my agenda was going to Downtown Pres to help with the Wednesday homeless lunch. I meet and engaged with several men there; Fabian even stood up and started singing "Happy Birthday" to me. Instead of saying my name, he called me Miss Pennsylvania. When Ken, my pastor, heard that it was my b-day, he acknowledged that it was his birthday as well. We are birthday buddies!
I spent the rest of my afternoon opening cards, laughing, returning phone calls, reading, and enjoying the blessings of another year and another special day. Thank you for the facebook posts, cards, phone calls, packages, gifts. . . you contributed to a wonderful day!
I woke early to have breakfast at Panera with a student. I loved the Cinnamon Crunch bagel :) After Panera with Nina, I headed across campus to meet another fun-loving student at the on campus Starbucks. I got lost along the way, ended up in the wrong building and was annoyed with myself. I stopped a student walking by, and she graciously and wonderfully escorted me to the Starbucks. We had a great conversation, what a blessing she was to my day. Tea with Lauren was fabulous; we share a lot of similar life experiences, hopes, and fears. After tea with her, I had my weekly meeting with Jennifer. She constantly challenges me to look at my life and my being differently--which I'm loving.
I was running behind for my next appointment when Jennifer and I finished, so I neglected to notice that my other co-workers had put a large sign up in the office, made me a cake, and wanted to celebrate! The next thing on my agenda was going to Downtown Pres to help with the Wednesday homeless lunch. I meet and engaged with several men there; Fabian even stood up and started singing "Happy Birthday" to me. Instead of saying my name, he called me Miss Pennsylvania. When Ken, my pastor, heard that it was my b-day, he acknowledged that it was his birthday as well. We are birthday buddies!
I spent the rest of my afternoon opening cards, laughing, returning phone calls, reading, and enjoying the blessings of another year and another special day. Thank you for the facebook posts, cards, phone calls, packages, gifts. . . you contributed to a wonderful day!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
church friends
Today, I actually got to work on a Habitat house. I spent the day working with some folks from my new church, Downtown Pres. To say that I was a bit nervous would be an understatement. Last week at worship wasn't so great, and I was unsure of what an entire day with DPC people would be like. Well, as usual, God surprised me.
When I got to neighborhood, all of which are Habitat houses, I couldn't find the one DPC was to be working on. I wandered from house to house, trying to figure out where "my people" were. Eventually, I found them all at the top of the hill. I tried to blend in, all the while feeling like I was sticking out. Soon though, I began to make conversation. Rachel, a middle aged woman, started telling me about the DPC history and the upcoming organ concert her cousin from Duquesne is going to give. Sarah and her husband Doug were incredibly friendly as well. Then I met Faye, my Nashville "host mother." She's another sweet woman, and her husband Jim was wonderful too.
After an orientation meeting and seeing Susan the NEP site coordinator, I headed back to our house. I felt again that I was sticking out awkwardly. But then I noticed other people just waiting for instruction. Eventually I began to paint interior walls with Rachel and Samera. Samera quickly became my new best friend, as we shared laughs, paint splatters, football talk, and fun places for me to visit in the city.
Later, while taking a break (and trying to get paint out of my hair!), a woman name Ann introduced herself. We quickly realized that we had exchanged emails. Then, rather suddenly, Ann asked: "Can you explain your shirt to me?" Looking down, I realized I had a Westminster College Titans Football shirt on. I explained that I went to college at Westminster, a small Presbyterian related school north of Pittsburgh. A smile flashed across her face. Ann responded with a simple statement that changed my day: "My first teaching job after getting my Ph.D. was at Westminster in the Religion department. Do you know Kang Na?" To say that I was floored would be an understatement. Kang Na was my adviser, and one of the people who encouraged me to explore doing a YAV year. Consequently, Ann and I shared many New Wilmington/Westminster stories throughout the day.
It was a great day, a day I hope to not forget, for just when I was beginning to think that I would not have a warm church community, I found connections I never expected to find. Samera wants to take me to live music concerts, movies, and the art crawl. And we both have birthdays this week, as does Beth, another DPC member. Faye wants to take me to lunch. Sarah suggested that I was "Our Bethany." Ann and I shared a "WC moment" of great joy. It's almost hard to believe that a week ago I dreaded almost everything about that place. Now it is starting to feel like home; a home with friendly faces!
When I got to neighborhood, all of which are Habitat houses, I couldn't find the one DPC was to be working on. I wandered from house to house, trying to figure out where "my people" were. Eventually, I found them all at the top of the hill. I tried to blend in, all the while feeling like I was sticking out. Soon though, I began to make conversation. Rachel, a middle aged woman, started telling me about the DPC history and the upcoming organ concert her cousin from Duquesne is going to give. Sarah and her husband Doug were incredibly friendly as well. Then I met Faye, my Nashville "host mother." She's another sweet woman, and her husband Jim was wonderful too.
After an orientation meeting and seeing Susan the NEP site coordinator, I headed back to our house. I felt again that I was sticking out awkwardly. But then I noticed other people just waiting for instruction. Eventually I began to paint interior walls with Rachel and Samera. Samera quickly became my new best friend, as we shared laughs, paint splatters, football talk, and fun places for me to visit in the city.
Later, while taking a break (and trying to get paint out of my hair!), a woman name Ann introduced herself. We quickly realized that we had exchanged emails. Then, rather suddenly, Ann asked: "Can you explain your shirt to me?" Looking down, I realized I had a Westminster College Titans Football shirt on. I explained that I went to college at Westminster, a small Presbyterian related school north of Pittsburgh. A smile flashed across her face. Ann responded with a simple statement that changed my day: "My first teaching job after getting my Ph.D. was at Westminster in the Religion department. Do you know Kang Na?" To say that I was floored would be an understatement. Kang Na was my adviser, and one of the people who encouraged me to explore doing a YAV year. Consequently, Ann and I shared many New Wilmington/Westminster stories throughout the day.
It was a great day, a day I hope to not forget, for just when I was beginning to think that I would not have a warm church community, I found connections I never expected to find. Samera wants to take me to live music concerts, movies, and the art crawl. And we both have birthdays this week, as does Beth, another DPC member. Faye wants to take me to lunch. Sarah suggested that I was "Our Bethany." Ann and I shared a "WC moment" of great joy. It's almost hard to believe that a week ago I dreaded almost everything about that place. Now it is starting to feel like home; a home with friendly faces!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
promised pictures
Today was suppose to be a day of working with the PSF students on a Habitat build. Instead, I brought a sick student home early and spent the day relaxing. So, I thought it a good time to try to get some pictures up of our house, the Cabana. . .
Looking from the front door, a view of the living room & into the kitchen:
This is the Cabana living room from a different angle (front door is to the right):
Cabana kitchen:
my bedroom (French doors to the back yard are behind the navy curtains):
my super sweet, not so "simple living" walk-in closet:
Just a great piece of art which is not in the Cabana, but should be:
Looking from the front door, a view of the living room & into the kitchen:
This is the Cabana living room from a different angle (front door is to the right):
Cabana kitchen:
my bedroom (French doors to the back yard are behind the navy curtains):
my super sweet, not so "simple living" walk-in closet:
Just a great piece of art which is not in the Cabana, but should be:
Thursday, September 24, 2009
routine
I never know how to start a blog post. Should I tell you that I'm sitting in my office, eating my lunch? Or that my desk is a mess with all the things I need to be doing? Or that I am always checking my email, waiting for a student to get back to me about a potential coffee date? Each of these things happen most days. I guess you could almost say that it's all becoming a routine. A fun, always changing, routine.
Like this routine I've found, my life is good. Lisa, my housemate, is doing well. I plan on visiting her this afternoon. Gramps is doing well too, which is a blessing to hear. I'm finding all sorts of things to work on for PSF: writing notes to students, more coffee dates, creating Guatemala information sheets, taking walks around campus, working on Habitat rides, reaching out to Belmont students, helping to get fundraising information out, creating a Bible Study, helping with the Alternative Gift Fair. . . it's certainly not boring.
It can, however, be frustrating when "results" are hard to see. I totally understand now why Jennifer gardens; she can see results and responses from plants. Students aren't always like that. But I did get excited when students were calling out to me on Tuesday, when they were leaving. The smiles, the waves, the "catch you laters" made me feel like I've got a good start on this ministry thing and having new friends! Which is certainly an answer to all my prayers.
Like this routine I've found, my life is good. Lisa, my housemate, is doing well. I plan on visiting her this afternoon. Gramps is doing well too, which is a blessing to hear. I'm finding all sorts of things to work on for PSF: writing notes to students, more coffee dates, creating Guatemala information sheets, taking walks around campus, working on Habitat rides, reaching out to Belmont students, helping to get fundraising information out, creating a Bible Study, helping with the Alternative Gift Fair. . . it's certainly not boring.
It can, however, be frustrating when "results" are hard to see. I totally understand now why Jennifer gardens; she can see results and responses from plants. Students aren't always like that. But I did get excited when students were calling out to me on Tuesday, when they were leaving. The smiles, the waves, the "catch you laters" made me feel like I've got a good start on this ministry thing and having new friends! Which is certainly an answer to all my prayers.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
overwhelming weekend
It's been quite the weekend here in Nashville. It was suppose to be a fun, no schedule weekend. And while it was to begin with, it took a tragic turn. I'll start at the beginning:
Friday: Diana, Leslie, and I got up early (6:30is) to wander around at a yard sale. Unfortunately, it was not what we expected, but we still had fun looking around. We ventured then to Starbucks. It was my third Starbucks stop in two days. . . I felt like Kayla! After Starbucks, we had our Vocational Discernment as YAVs. We discussed one of my favorite books, Let Your Life Speak. We had great discussion and I left feeling challenged to reexamine my spiritual life and my vocational goals. The rest of Friday was spent preparing to celebrate Lisa's birthday. We had the other YAVs over for pizza, cake, drinks, and a movie night. It was fun to be together. I was sad going to bed though, because we watched Flashdance, which is set in Pittsburgh. Watching the incline go up Mt. Washington, I felt pangs of homesickness.
Saturday: I woke up feeling rested for the first time since moving to Nashville. I started and finished "Five People you Meet in Heaven," which was a great way to take sometime for myself. I had no plans for my day, and I was really excited to have it that way. But with one phone call, that all changed. The birthday girl, Lisa, had a bike accident, and called me. I ended up calling her back, trying to calm her down, and found where she was. She was a few blocks away, with several bumps, bruises, and open wounds. The ambulance showed up, and took her to the hospital. My roommates and I followed, where we learned that Lisa had broken her jaw in three places. She ended up having surgery which was to fix her broken teeth and wire shut her jaw. Spending the afternoon in the ER was draining. . . I had to leave to get some fresh air, as all the traumas coming in got to me. I still can't believe how well I generally behaved there though.
Sunday: I woke today, dreading having to do anything. Yesterday had certainly taken its toll. But it was the first Sunday I was to worship at Downtown Pres. so I got up and headed over early. There was a Titans game starting at noon, so I left to make sure I wouldn't be late. Luckily, there wasn't much traffic going into the city, so I got there too early. I parked, tried to get into the church, but all the doors were locked. It ended up that while venturing around the church, I walked through urine left by the homeless men that frequent the church's alley. Disgusted by that, I continued to the streetfront. I still couldn't get in and my summer skirt was flapping in the breeze. Getting frustrated, I tried to walk away, only to be stopped by David, a mentally ill homeless man. David started talking about all sorts of things: the weather, professional women, overdrawing his bank account, what a horrible city Nashville is, and how a young woman like me should eat more Mexican food. I was so frustrated, so angry that church doors were locked etc. I was trying to listen to David, but I allowed lots of other things to cloud my mind. Eventually, David made some comment about how tense I was. And I was. He totally called me out on that. Finally, the doors opened, I got into the church, met a few people (Lee, a sweet older man; Jeff a younger elder; Laura the Habitat woman). Even though I met them, I found myself sitting alone in worship. I hate sitting alone in church. Needless to say, this morning left me very frustrated. I felt so alone and yet horrible for feeling that way, as Lisa was pretty much alone in the hospital on her birthday. I'm trying to keep it all in perspective, to be thankful that things aren't any worse, that Lisa is going to be okay, that church is sure to get better as I meet more people . . . but right now it's hard.
Friday: Diana, Leslie, and I got up early (6:30is) to wander around at a yard sale. Unfortunately, it was not what we expected, but we still had fun looking around. We ventured then to Starbucks. It was my third Starbucks stop in two days. . . I felt like Kayla! After Starbucks, we had our Vocational Discernment as YAVs. We discussed one of my favorite books, Let Your Life Speak. We had great discussion and I left feeling challenged to reexamine my spiritual life and my vocational goals. The rest of Friday was spent preparing to celebrate Lisa's birthday. We had the other YAVs over for pizza, cake, drinks, and a movie night. It was fun to be together. I was sad going to bed though, because we watched Flashdance, which is set in Pittsburgh. Watching the incline go up Mt. Washington, I felt pangs of homesickness.
Saturday: I woke up feeling rested for the first time since moving to Nashville. I started and finished "Five People you Meet in Heaven," which was a great way to take sometime for myself. I had no plans for my day, and I was really excited to have it that way. But with one phone call, that all changed. The birthday girl, Lisa, had a bike accident, and called me. I ended up calling her back, trying to calm her down, and found where she was. She was a few blocks away, with several bumps, bruises, and open wounds. The ambulance showed up, and took her to the hospital. My roommates and I followed, where we learned that Lisa had broken her jaw in three places. She ended up having surgery which was to fix her broken teeth and wire shut her jaw. Spending the afternoon in the ER was draining. . . I had to leave to get some fresh air, as all the traumas coming in got to me. I still can't believe how well I generally behaved there though.
Sunday: I woke today, dreading having to do anything. Yesterday had certainly taken its toll. But it was the first Sunday I was to worship at Downtown Pres. so I got up and headed over early. There was a Titans game starting at noon, so I left to make sure I wouldn't be late. Luckily, there wasn't much traffic going into the city, so I got there too early. I parked, tried to get into the church, but all the doors were locked. It ended up that while venturing around the church, I walked through urine left by the homeless men that frequent the church's alley. Disgusted by that, I continued to the streetfront. I still couldn't get in and my summer skirt was flapping in the breeze. Getting frustrated, I tried to walk away, only to be stopped by David, a mentally ill homeless man. David started talking about all sorts of things: the weather, professional women, overdrawing his bank account, what a horrible city Nashville is, and how a young woman like me should eat more Mexican food. I was so frustrated, so angry that church doors were locked etc. I was trying to listen to David, but I allowed lots of other things to cloud my mind. Eventually, David made some comment about how tense I was. And I was. He totally called me out on that. Finally, the doors opened, I got into the church, met a few people (Lee, a sweet older man; Jeff a younger elder; Laura the Habitat woman). Even though I met them, I found myself sitting alone in worship. I hate sitting alone in church. Needless to say, this morning left me very frustrated. I felt so alone and yet horrible for feeling that way, as Lisa was pretty much alone in the hospital on her birthday. I'm trying to keep it all in perspective, to be thankful that things aren't any worse, that Lisa is going to be okay, that church is sure to get better as I meet more people . . . but right now it's hard.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
needs & stretching
Last night, as I was falling asleep I asked God to open my eyes to those who are forgotten and to open my ears to the stories that are often left untold. I don't know why His answering of my prayers still surprises me. . . but that's just how it is.
On my way to work, I saw a group of men, who I presume to be homeless, gathered under a bridge. They appeared to be a community, laughing, talking, and very much present with each other. As I drove from beneath the cover of the bridge, I wondered how many of my fellow commuters saw these men. If they did see them, did they recognize them as people? So often I think we (generally speaking) don't recognize that men, like this group, have gifts to share with others. They all have gifts, all have spirits, and all have problems. Just like me. Exactly like me. My circumstances have been different in some aspects, but I'm sure if I talked with them, we would have similar life experiences in one way or another.
Those thoughts have been heavy on my heart today. Each time I look out into the rain, I think of them. And then I think of the Vandy students who are walking along, who have just as many needs as those men do. Some needs might be the same; some could be very different. But needs all the same, just like the needs I have.
Where do I go from here? How do I meet those needs?
I'm going to keep praying that God open my eyes and ears, even if it means knowing things I would rather not see or hear. But I guess that's what this year is all about. A year of stretching myself and remembering that stretching (of any kind) keeps us flexible, making it easier to meet all those needs.
On my way to work, I saw a group of men, who I presume to be homeless, gathered under a bridge. They appeared to be a community, laughing, talking, and very much present with each other. As I drove from beneath the cover of the bridge, I wondered how many of my fellow commuters saw these men. If they did see them, did they recognize them as people? So often I think we (generally speaking) don't recognize that men, like this group, have gifts to share with others. They all have gifts, all have spirits, and all have problems. Just like me. Exactly like me. My circumstances have been different in some aspects, but I'm sure if I talked with them, we would have similar life experiences in one way or another.
Those thoughts have been heavy on my heart today. Each time I look out into the rain, I think of them. And then I think of the Vandy students who are walking along, who have just as many needs as those men do. Some needs might be the same; some could be very different. But needs all the same, just like the needs I have.
Where do I go from here? How do I meet those needs?
I'm going to keep praying that God open my eyes and ears, even if it means knowing things I would rather not see or hear. But I guess that's what this year is all about. A year of stretching myself and remembering that stretching (of any kind) keeps us flexible, making it easier to meet all those needs.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
balance
There is so much going on in my life. And while most of it has been enjoyable, I'm exhausted, nearing stressed, and just plain worn out. The weekend trip was great, and I loved the community building . . . but my body is sore (from rafting and daily trips to the YMCA). My personal to do list gets longer each day, and I don't feel like I have enough time to get everything done. I apologize to all those who have called, texted, emailed, or mailed me something without a response. Those expressions of kindness have not gone unnoticed. Thank goodness for leftovers from work, because I haven't gone grocery shopping. There are just so many things to see, to do, to experience. But I'm going to have to find a balance.
Talking of balance, I finally met my pastor yesterday. Ken Locke, the pastor of Downtown Presbyterian church (DPC) is a great guy. He showed me around the church (see pictures at http://www.dpchurch.com/dpctour.php), and then took me out for breakfast. He had me laughing, thinking deep, wanting balance in my life and got me even more excited to become a part of his church community. While they have a small congregation, they are active with two lunches each week for the homeless people of Nashville. It's my hope that I might be able to get Vandy students to go with me on Wednesdays to serve. Ken also was kind enough to get me connected with the Habitat people at DPC. I hope to work with them on the 27th.
After breakfast, I headed over to my office. Right now my office has become my haven. It's my space to simply be. With four roommates and a lot of shared house space, it's nice to have room to call my own. I'm not sure that having my office as my haven is healthy. . . who really wants to spend extra time in their office? But for now, until I can find someplace else, it works.
I'm slowly learning the signs my body gives me about needing to rest, to rejuvenate, and to be. I went to bed early last night, just to find clarity in my scattered brain. I woke this morning with clarity, with new understanding, and a slightly rested feeling. And since I went to bed early and woke early, I have time now before work to get caught up on my to do list. And I'd like to call that success in finding a bit of balance.
Talking of balance, I finally met my pastor yesterday. Ken Locke, the pastor of Downtown Presbyterian church (DPC) is a great guy. He showed me around the church (see pictures at http://www.dpchurch.com/dpctour.php), and then took me out for breakfast. He had me laughing, thinking deep, wanting balance in my life and got me even more excited to become a part of his church community. While they have a small congregation, they are active with two lunches each week for the homeless people of Nashville. It's my hope that I might be able to get Vandy students to go with me on Wednesdays to serve. Ken also was kind enough to get me connected with the Habitat people at DPC. I hope to work with them on the 27th.
After breakfast, I headed over to my office. Right now my office has become my haven. It's my space to simply be. With four roommates and a lot of shared house space, it's nice to have room to call my own. I'm not sure that having my office as my haven is healthy. . . who really wants to spend extra time in their office? But for now, until I can find someplace else, it works.
I'm slowly learning the signs my body gives me about needing to rest, to rejuvenate, and to be. I went to bed early last night, just to find clarity in my scattered brain. I woke this morning with clarity, with new understanding, and a slightly rested feeling. And since I went to bed early and woke early, I have time now before work to get caught up on my to do list. And I'd like to call that success in finding a bit of balance.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Things I learned this weekend
After a successful, yet exhausting weekend trip to Tims Ford lake & the Ocee river for rafting and water fun, this is a list of things I have learned:
*I am much more aware of animals on road trips and nature excursions than others. I spotted a fox, two spotted fawns, and a deer when others didn't. Is that a quality of PA girls or just Olson girls?!
*Staying in the raft while white water rafting isn't too hard; just wedge your feet under the inflated rubber and you won't really go too far.
*Campus ministry can be dirty. Literally. I helped to pack a cooler and got jam all over my hands. (But my cooler packing skills were much appreciated).
*I have a bad habit of over packing and still not having enough of what I really need.
*There is something wonderfully calming and strangely glamorous about sitting near water and just being.
*I am going to get a lot of food leftovers from PSF events. And my roommates love that!
*I am much more aware of animals on road trips and nature excursions than others. I spotted a fox, two spotted fawns, and a deer when others didn't. Is that a quality of PA girls or just Olson girls?!
*Staying in the raft while white water rafting isn't too hard; just wedge your feet under the inflated rubber and you won't really go too far.
*Campus ministry can be dirty. Literally. I helped to pack a cooler and got jam all over my hands. (But my cooler packing skills were much appreciated).
*I have a bad habit of over packing and still not having enough of what I really need.
*There is something wonderfully calming and strangely glamorous about sitting near water and just being.
*I am going to get a lot of food leftovers from PSF events. And my roommates love that!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
three days in
I'm sitting in my office. My office on the Vanderbilt Campus. That's just crazy.
My John Calvin bobble head, my Westminster paper weight, my First Covenant mouse pad are all proudly displayed on my desk. I even made room for one of my ceramic pieces to serve as a pen holder. My business cards are directly in front of that. Crazy!
Today is my third day at "work" on campus. I came on Tuesday, met with Jennifer, went over what sorts of things she wants me to be involved in, etc. Bob, the development director, Jennifer and I then headed over to Grins (pronounced greens)at the Jewish Schulman Center for lunch. After lunch, Jennifer showed me around campus. It's a beautiful and exciting place. When we got back to the Office of Religious Life building (where our offices are), she worked on writing her sermon, while I worked on emails, t-shirts, rafting details, and other odds and ends.
The best part of Tuesday was definitely the PSF worship. PSF worships in St. Augustine's Chapel on campus, which is a fabulous building. There were about 30 students there for worship and dinner. The theme of the year is "stories we live by. . . " with the first text from John 4.3-30. (I read aloud the words of Jesus). Dinner was provided by a couple from Second Pres, who are both Vandy employees and pastors. We had a great conversation about discernment. When I got home at about 8:35pm, with dinner leftovers, I was certainly exhausted, but it was a great first day!
Wednesday was another day of chatting with Jennifer, lunch on campus, meeting more new people, and seeing more beautiful buildings. I also got my Vanderbilt id and a PSF t-shirt. Jennifer and I also came into contact with some donated clothing that was going to be gotten rid of, so we had our own mini-shopping experience--my housemates really seemed to like the clothes!
Today was exciting in that I found my way here without Gladys, my GPS. First on the agenda was a meeting to discuss the Alternative Gift Fair. I'm excited to be helping with that, as it was always such an important part of the YPS year for me at Westminster. Later tonight is Theology on Tap, where I can hopefully talk about God, enjoy some pizza, and celebrate a victory with Titans fans.
Every morning so far, as I head home from the Y and see the city sky line, I'm thankful that God has guided me here. It's certainly starting to feel more like home everyday.
My John Calvin bobble head, my Westminster paper weight, my First Covenant mouse pad are all proudly displayed on my desk. I even made room for one of my ceramic pieces to serve as a pen holder. My business cards are directly in front of that. Crazy!
Today is my third day at "work" on campus. I came on Tuesday, met with Jennifer, went over what sorts of things she wants me to be involved in, etc. Bob, the development director, Jennifer and I then headed over to Grins (pronounced greens)at the Jewish Schulman Center for lunch. After lunch, Jennifer showed me around campus. It's a beautiful and exciting place. When we got back to the Office of Religious Life building (where our offices are), she worked on writing her sermon, while I worked on emails, t-shirts, rafting details, and other odds and ends.
The best part of Tuesday was definitely the PSF worship. PSF worships in St. Augustine's Chapel on campus, which is a fabulous building. There were about 30 students there for worship and dinner. The theme of the year is "stories we live by. . . " with the first text from John 4.3-30. (I read aloud the words of Jesus). Dinner was provided by a couple from Second Pres, who are both Vandy employees and pastors. We had a great conversation about discernment. When I got home at about 8:35pm, with dinner leftovers, I was certainly exhausted, but it was a great first day!
Wednesday was another day of chatting with Jennifer, lunch on campus, meeting more new people, and seeing more beautiful buildings. I also got my Vanderbilt id and a PSF t-shirt. Jennifer and I also came into contact with some donated clothing that was going to be gotten rid of, so we had our own mini-shopping experience--my housemates really seemed to like the clothes!
Today was exciting in that I found my way here without Gladys, my GPS. First on the agenda was a meeting to discuss the Alternative Gift Fair. I'm excited to be helping with that, as it was always such an important part of the YPS year for me at Westminster. Later tonight is Theology on Tap, where I can hopefully talk about God, enjoy some pizza, and celebrate a victory with Titans fans.
Every morning so far, as I head home from the Y and see the city sky line, I'm thankful that God has guided me here. It's certainly starting to feel more like home everyday.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
themes of life
Things are going really well. Jennifer and I chatted yesterday, talking about all the details for my first day on Tuesday. It will be a long first day, from about 11am until 9pm, but that's because of worship and dinner. I'm so excited (and a bit nervous) to get started. Then after a potentially quite Wednesday and Theology on Tap (TOT) on Thursday, I'll head off to a white water rafting trip with the Vandy kids. Bob, the development director, has promised to put me right in the front of the raft. . . I'll be sure to let you know how that works out!
This morning, we heard Bruce Reyes-Chow, the Moderator of the General Assembly. He was speaking at the More Light Conference at Second Presbyterian. The More Light Conference is part of the churches within the PCUSA who are accepting and welcoming of all people, regardless of sexual orientation. It was a new experience for me, but as most of this first week has been, it has challenged me to look at things differently. I've accepted that as my theme for this year: challenging my views and pushing me in new directions. (For example, the Episcopalian service I went to on Friday night challenged me to learn what is worshipful to me, and consequently what is not.)
Besides the challenges though, I'm really getting settled to the Nashville community. I joined the local YMCA today, got a Kroger's card--even with a mini-crisis about what to buy, can almost find my way across town, got my first package in the mail, got stuck in LP Field traffic for the Titans/Packers game, have met many friendly people, and have all ready become a regular at Ugly Mugs (where I'm sitting right now, listening to a live band.). I'm eager to get my schedule settled, but I'm also enjoying living semi-spontaneously as I go with the flow. All in all, I'm still very much at peace, still extremely confident that I am in the right place, and still very eager to get to work.
I want to sign off tonight, with this Martin Luther King Jr. quote that has been on my heart all day. It was in the Civil Rights room of the Public Library. I feel like it pertains to my life as well as it did his:
"I came to Nashville not to bring inspiration, but to gain inspiration from the great movement that has taken place in this community."
This morning, we heard Bruce Reyes-Chow, the Moderator of the General Assembly. He was speaking at the More Light Conference at Second Presbyterian. The More Light Conference is part of the churches within the PCUSA who are accepting and welcoming of all people, regardless of sexual orientation. It was a new experience for me, but as most of this first week has been, it has challenged me to look at things differently. I've accepted that as my theme for this year: challenging my views and pushing me in new directions. (For example, the Episcopalian service I went to on Friday night challenged me to learn what is worshipful to me, and consequently what is not.)
Besides the challenges though, I'm really getting settled to the Nashville community. I joined the local YMCA today, got a Kroger's card--even with a mini-crisis about what to buy, can almost find my way across town, got my first package in the mail, got stuck in LP Field traffic for the Titans/Packers game, have met many friendly people, and have all ready become a regular at Ugly Mugs (where I'm sitting right now, listening to a live band.). I'm eager to get my schedule settled, but I'm also enjoying living semi-spontaneously as I go with the flow. All in all, I'm still very much at peace, still extremely confident that I am in the right place, and still very eager to get to work.
I want to sign off tonight, with this Martin Luther King Jr. quote that has been on my heart all day. It was in the Civil Rights room of the Public Library. I feel like it pertains to my life as well as it did his:
"I came to Nashville not to bring inspiration, but to gain inspiration from the great movement that has taken place in this community."
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Gifts of Knowledge
I'm currently sitting outside, sipping an iced chai tea, using Ugly Mugs' internet. Our house is not yet set up with the internet. And while that has been stressful, it's also nice to get out into our East Nashville community and start to feel as if I belong. I know I do belong here, but with stuff going on in Erie, it's been hard. It stressful to live away from home when issues arise. . . but it's all out of my control and I have to accept that. I wish I could be physically present, but this is a good lesson on relying on God's spirit to surround my loved ones.
My new community of YAVs been wonderful in being present with me & watching out for me. I already love this intentional community. . . they are holding me accountable, making me realize the importance of self-boundaries, and have promised to help me say that one particular word I hate to use . . . "no." Last night for example, I watched Brothers & Sisters with my roommates and enjoyed time to just be; what a blessing that is.
In other news, our Nashville orientation is going well. We served Meals on Wheels today, which was great. (Thanks, Dad, for all the lessons on how to talk with strangers! I never would have thought that I could do it or be thankful for those lessons, but I totally am!) We've visited all 8 partner sites, heard the incredible missions of each organization, and saw where each other is working. It was heartbreaking to hear of the needs within this community, but such a comfort to know that people are making small triumphs each day. I've all ready had my beliefs on the death penalty, poverty, health care, and church mission challenged--and all in healthy ways. For so long, I've avoided having an opinion. Now, I feel as if I have to be educated,at least to know the facts. I'm not certain that at the end of the day I'll have changed any of my thoughts, but at least I will be semi-well versed on them. I have always known, but now truly believe that ignorance is not bliss. There is so much out there that I have to learn. And still so much more to touch my heart.
My new community of YAVs been wonderful in being present with me & watching out for me. I already love this intentional community. . . they are holding me accountable, making me realize the importance of self-boundaries, and have promised to help me say that one particular word I hate to use . . . "no." Last night for example, I watched Brothers & Sisters with my roommates and enjoyed time to just be; what a blessing that is.
In other news, our Nashville orientation is going well. We served Meals on Wheels today, which was great. (Thanks, Dad, for all the lessons on how to talk with strangers! I never would have thought that I could do it or be thankful for those lessons, but I totally am!) We've visited all 8 partner sites, heard the incredible missions of each organization, and saw where each other is working. It was heartbreaking to hear of the needs within this community, but such a comfort to know that people are making small triumphs each day. I've all ready had my beliefs on the death penalty, poverty, health care, and church mission challenged--and all in healthy ways. For so long, I've avoided having an opinion. Now, I feel as if I have to be educated,at least to know the facts. I'm not certain that at the end of the day I'll have changed any of my thoughts, but at least I will be semi-well versed on them. I have always known, but now truly believe that ignorance is not bliss. There is so much out there that I have to learn. And still so much more to touch my heart.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Nashville Orientation
Hard to believe that it is September all ready.
It’s also hard to believe that I’ve officially spent one full day now, as a resident of Nashville.
Besides a few passing thoughts and prayers for all that I have left behind in PA, I haven’t really processed my move too much. I know that Westminster is back in session, and that things are going on in Erie, but this transitional time has really kept me from thinking too much about that now distant community. I certainly miss my WC friends, and wish I could be physically present in Erie to give a few hugs out, but this new community feels so natural and well established it’s hard to remember that I haven’t always known them or lived here. It’s such a blessing to feel the peace of God in this new place. . .
Today was the first day of Nashville orientation. We got up, and ventured (in my car—I hope I get used to major city driving) over to 2nd Pres, and the “Toolshed.” The Toolshed is the house on the 2nd Pres property, where three other YAVs live this year. Liz, Bonnie, and Karol live there together. All three girls are 2009 college grads.
After a brief schedule meeting with Susan, the Nashville site manager, we all loaded into 2nd’s 1989 van, and headed off to visit the agencies Liz and Karol will be serving this year. Our first stop was in a HUD (Housing & Urban Development) community. Nations, a nonprofit agency for immigrants is settled among the other houses. As our group of nine women walked in, we were immediately the attention of about 10 little children. They were working on art projects. Adorable does not even begin to describe their precious faces. In a back room, we gathered around a table with Chris, the director of Nations, who described to Liz (who will be working there) and the rest of us, what role Nations plays in that community. What Chris shared with us, was incredibly enlightening. He shared the stories of Burundi refugees: how generations of Burundis have only ever lived in refugee camps. How the US invites them to come over, but then expects them to pay for their travel expenses—which would be fine, except that most of these refugees have no skills, are illiterate in all languages, and have one minimum wage job per household to support typically 5+ people. Before they can even get themselves established, debt overwhelms them. The government will teach them basic skills (understanding how electricity work, bus schedules, grocery stores etc.) but that assistance only lasts about 90 days. After 90 days, the government believes them to be well established. Without organizations like Nations, these refugees could not assimilate into our culture, could not learn English, and truly have no hope to function within the US.
I was shocked by what I was hearing. I suddenly felt very sheltered and unaware. There are so many issues out there . . . so many shortcomings, so many of my brothers and sisters left out. Thank goodness there are people who hear the gentle whisper of God (whether they recognize it as that or not is a different subject) and do the best they can to meet the needs of those around them.
After our Nations visit, we headed over to Preston Taylor Ministries (PTM), the agency Karol will be working with. PTM is settled just outside another public housing development. This ministry reaches out to the children in the neighborhood with after school programs and homework help. PTM’s mission is to have the children discover their God inspired dreams, and to improve their reading skills. The space they have is incredible. Beautiful pictures and murals, computer rooms, study rooms, a fabulous playground (designed by some PTM 4th graders), and walls covered with Bible passages. The directors of PTM have made an investment into that community, and the students and community is blooming under the guiding hand of PTM.
The work of these organizations is incredibly impressive. They are truly seeing needs and filling them. I’m eager to hear the stories Liz and Karol share. I’m also very hopeful that I can encourage the Vanderbilt students I will be working with to get involved, as both places depend heavily upon volunteers. My work at Vandy will certainly be different, but I pray that I can and will make a difference in the lives I’ll be working with, just as Liz’s & Karol’s work will.
It’s also hard to believe that I’ve officially spent one full day now, as a resident of Nashville.
Besides a few passing thoughts and prayers for all that I have left behind in PA, I haven’t really processed my move too much. I know that Westminster is back in session, and that things are going on in Erie, but this transitional time has really kept me from thinking too much about that now distant community. I certainly miss my WC friends, and wish I could be physically present in Erie to give a few hugs out, but this new community feels so natural and well established it’s hard to remember that I haven’t always known them or lived here. It’s such a blessing to feel the peace of God in this new place. . .
Today was the first day of Nashville orientation. We got up, and ventured (in my car—I hope I get used to major city driving) over to 2nd Pres, and the “Toolshed.” The Toolshed is the house on the 2nd Pres property, where three other YAVs live this year. Liz, Bonnie, and Karol live there together. All three girls are 2009 college grads.
After a brief schedule meeting with Susan, the Nashville site manager, we all loaded into 2nd’s 1989 van, and headed off to visit the agencies Liz and Karol will be serving this year. Our first stop was in a HUD (Housing & Urban Development) community. Nations, a nonprofit agency for immigrants is settled among the other houses. As our group of nine women walked in, we were immediately the attention of about 10 little children. They were working on art projects. Adorable does not even begin to describe their precious faces. In a back room, we gathered around a table with Chris, the director of Nations, who described to Liz (who will be working there) and the rest of us, what role Nations plays in that community. What Chris shared with us, was incredibly enlightening. He shared the stories of Burundi refugees: how generations of Burundis have only ever lived in refugee camps. How the US invites them to come over, but then expects them to pay for their travel expenses—which would be fine, except that most of these refugees have no skills, are illiterate in all languages, and have one minimum wage job per household to support typically 5+ people. Before they can even get themselves established, debt overwhelms them. The government will teach them basic skills (understanding how electricity work, bus schedules, grocery stores etc.) but that assistance only lasts about 90 days. After 90 days, the government believes them to be well established. Without organizations like Nations, these refugees could not assimilate into our culture, could not learn English, and truly have no hope to function within the US.
I was shocked by what I was hearing. I suddenly felt very sheltered and unaware. There are so many issues out there . . . so many shortcomings, so many of my brothers and sisters left out. Thank goodness there are people who hear the gentle whisper of God (whether they recognize it as that or not is a different subject) and do the best they can to meet the needs of those around them.
After our Nations visit, we headed over to Preston Taylor Ministries (PTM), the agency Karol will be working with. PTM is settled just outside another public housing development. This ministry reaches out to the children in the neighborhood with after school programs and homework help. PTM’s mission is to have the children discover their God inspired dreams, and to improve their reading skills. The space they have is incredible. Beautiful pictures and murals, computer rooms, study rooms, a fabulous playground (designed by some PTM 4th graders), and walls covered with Bible passages. The directors of PTM have made an investment into that community, and the students and community is blooming under the guiding hand of PTM.
The work of these organizations is incredibly impressive. They are truly seeing needs and filling them. I’m eager to hear the stories Liz and Karol share. I’m also very hopeful that I can encourage the Vanderbilt students I will be working with to get involved, as both places depend heavily upon volunteers. My work at Vandy will certainly be different, but I pray that I can and will make a difference in the lives I’ll be working with, just as Liz’s & Karol’s work will.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Back in Town
We got back from Orientation on this afternoon. The week was good; great community was formed, but it was wonderful to finally and officially “land” where the work is to begin.
Our house, now full with the five of us, was patiently waiting for us to arrive. After figuring out the tv & discussing how the bathroom sharing was to work, we ventured out into our East Nashville community for dinner. We stopped, happily, a few blocks East at a Mexican restaurant “Las Maracas.” (Very similar to El Canelo in PA). We enjoyed laughs, stories, and great food. It felt as if we had known each other much longer than just a week.
My housemates are wonderful women of faith and character. Diana is originally from Washington State, and served last year as a YAV in Tuscan. This year, she’ll be working with TCASK, an organization fighting for the abolition of state killings. Leslie, a native Tennessean, is a 2009 college graduate. She will be working with the homeless ministry, Room In the Inn. Lisa, another ’09 college grad is from Arizona. Lisa is to work with the Martha O’Brien ministries, which works in a public housing development to provide after school programs to the youth of that community. Rebecca, my roommate, is also a PA gal. She’s been teaching GED courses in Philly and will be working with a church just down the road (Eastminster Pres.).
It’s a great group of us to be sharing this house. We spent most of the evening talking and learning about each other. We should have been unpacking . . . but fellowship seemed more important. What was really great was that just before we were all going to go to bed, Rebecca called everyone into our bedroom. She felt (and we all agreed) that evening prayer would be a blessing to each of us. To quote her: “A family that prays together stays together.” We couldn’t have christened our time together any better.
Our house, now full with the five of us, was patiently waiting for us to arrive. After figuring out the tv & discussing how the bathroom sharing was to work, we ventured out into our East Nashville community for dinner. We stopped, happily, a few blocks East at a Mexican restaurant “Las Maracas.” (Very similar to El Canelo in PA). We enjoyed laughs, stories, and great food. It felt as if we had known each other much longer than just a week.
My housemates are wonderful women of faith and character. Diana is originally from Washington State, and served last year as a YAV in Tuscan. This year, she’ll be working with TCASK, an organization fighting for the abolition of state killings. Leslie, a native Tennessean, is a 2009 college graduate. She will be working with the homeless ministry, Room In the Inn. Lisa, another ’09 college grad is from Arizona. Lisa is to work with the Martha O’Brien ministries, which works in a public housing development to provide after school programs to the youth of that community. Rebecca, my roommate, is also a PA gal. She’s been teaching GED courses in Philly and will be working with a church just down the road (Eastminster Pres.).
It’s a great group of us to be sharing this house. We spent most of the evening talking and learning about each other. We should have been unpacking . . . but fellowship seemed more important. What was really great was that just before we were all going to go to bed, Rebecca called everyone into our bedroom. She felt (and we all agreed) that evening prayer would be a blessing to each of us. To quote her: “A family that prays together stays together.” We couldn’t have christened our time together any better.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
heading South, again
Orientation is a few hours away from being over. I'm ready to hit the ground running in Nashville. We have a week of orientation once we get back to the city, but it will finally be time to get the work started.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Orientation
Stony Point, NY is unlike what I had expected. It's in a great community, that is very aware of God's glorious creation, and they strive to take care and preserve all that is around them. Set up much like Westminster Highlands, Camp Crestfield, and Lambec, it's a place of many buildings, great worship space, and free room to wander. I've meet the seven Nashville girls. . . we all ready have a great community forming. The larger group consists of nearly 70 YAVs, who will be serving both nationally and internationally. It's been a great blessing to meet and talk with each other, share our concerns, go through vocational discernment, self-care, and simply walk around. Through our activities up-to-now, I've discerned, thanks to the Meyer's-Briggs, that I'm an ISFJ personality--but I'm moving more and more to the extravert personality!, and that I have a hard time feeling my own personal energy. Right now there is a seminary fair going on. It was interesting to find that out of the YAV program, about 20-30% of all YAVs end up attending a seminary. I was impressed by that until I heard that from the Nashville site, the numbers jump to nearly 70%. Interesting. . . :)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
right where I belong
There's so much to say right now. I feel a strange mixture of feelings . . . I'm sad to have watched Stephanie leave, and then almost heartbroken watching Mom & Dad drive away. And yet, at the very same time, I am feeling so confident and assured that this is exactly where I need to be right now. I need to be on my own, listening for God's gentle whispers. I need to live on $400 a month, and I need to learn the value of hard work and putting my heart into something new. (And really, what better time in my life to be "poor"?)
I've enjoyed my sight-seeing adventures here in Nashville. I feel somewhat oriented to the city and traffic patterns. But I'm ready to really dive into the city, into the ministry, into a new chapter in my life. When I met with Jennifer and Bob at Vanderbilt, I was excited to meet students, face fears with them, struggle with the issues that come up as a first-year student, cheer on the Commodores, and wear black & gold (at least when I forget that black & gold are also Steeler's colors!). When I met Susan, I was excited to see the cute house I'll be living in. She told me about my new church, Downtown Pres, the homeless ministries there, the couple that have volunteered to be my host family--a very sweet sounding couple, who have gone on several mission trips and work with Habitat, which I feel is a wonderful God thing.
It all feels so right.
Even though I'm sitting here, alone, with the last of my physical PA connections heading into Kentucky, I know that sometimes God's plan for our lives demands some sad moments. It takes moments that make you wonder what it really means to allow God to guide your pathway. Even though it is hard, and will probably be much harder in the months to come, I'm with God, and there's no better place to be than in the midst of His grace and love.
Listening to David Bailey's song "Life," right now:
". . . the music will tell you that right now, you're right where you belong."
I've enjoyed my sight-seeing adventures here in Nashville. I feel somewhat oriented to the city and traffic patterns. But I'm ready to really dive into the city, into the ministry, into a new chapter in my life. When I met with Jennifer and Bob at Vanderbilt, I was excited to meet students, face fears with them, struggle with the issues that come up as a first-year student, cheer on the Commodores, and wear black & gold (at least when I forget that black & gold are also Steeler's colors!). When I met Susan, I was excited to see the cute house I'll be living in. She told me about my new church, Downtown Pres, the homeless ministries there, the couple that have volunteered to be my host family--a very sweet sounding couple, who have gone on several mission trips and work with Habitat, which I feel is a wonderful God thing.
It all feels so right.
Even though I'm sitting here, alone, with the last of my physical PA connections heading into Kentucky, I know that sometimes God's plan for our lives demands some sad moments. It takes moments that make you wonder what it really means to allow God to guide your pathway. Even though it is hard, and will probably be much harder in the months to come, I'm with God, and there's no better place to be than in the midst of His grace and love.
Listening to David Bailey's song "Life," right now:
". . . the music will tell you that right now, you're right where you belong."
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
a month & counting
It's July 22nd.
A month from today, my parents will be in Nashville with me.
We'll be unpacking my life.
I'll be starting in a new place with new people and a new home.
I was saying that my move wasn't coming fast enough.
Now I'm wondering where all the time has gone . . .
and if I should start packing?
A month from today, my parents will be in Nashville with me.
We'll be unpacking my life.
I'll be starting in a new place with new people and a new home.
I was saying that my move wasn't coming fast enough.
Now I'm wondering where all the time has gone . . .
and if I should start packing?
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Count-Down Begins
August 20th is quickly approaching.
It's coming so fast that I've started listening to country music (and enjoying most of it). I'm hungering for more of GiGi's gourmet cupcakes. I'm wondering what having an office will really feel like. I'm wondering just how many sweaters I'll need to pack for the 'winter' months. And then there is all the new things: a new address/state, new roommates, new friends, new food choices (yay cornbread & sweet tea!), and a new place to see God at work.
I'm really excited for everything new to start. And, truth be told, nervousness is creeping up on me too. Oh new things.
It's coming so fast that I've started listening to country music (and enjoying most of it). I'm hungering for more of GiGi's gourmet cupcakes. I'm wondering what having an office will really feel like. I'm wondering just how many sweaters I'll need to pack for the 'winter' months. And then there is all the new things: a new address/state, new roommates, new friends, new food choices (yay cornbread & sweet tea!), and a new place to see God at work.
I'm really excited for everything new to start. And, truth be told, nervousness is creeping up on me too. Oh new things.
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